Naked mole rats do not die of old age according to research

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/01/30/naked-mole-rats-do-not-die-of.html

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Good news, you CAN live forever! Bad news, it has to be as a naked mole rat. :-/

(No wonder there are all those giant naked mole rats running around in Fallout 4…)

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What’s the ICD-10 code for “old-age” again?

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Long live the naked mole rat!

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Naked Mole Rats do not die of old age.

They die because you fire dinner plates and burned books at them with the junk launcher.

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2018 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code R54 Age-related physical debility

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I, for one, w…
…never mind.

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I’d love to know where they are getting rats (rattus rattus) that average 6 years life expectancy! While it’s been possible to have rats live up to approximately 4 years in captivity the average is 2.5 years

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“The naked, 5-inch thing between my fingers, slightly bulbous at the hindquarters and topped with a set of lurid buck teeth, resembles nothing so much as a penis dentatus.”

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Perhaps not coincidentally, this is also what people would eventually look like if they never died of old age:

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I think you’ve uncovered a conspiracy. There are people who never die of old age, but they’re hidden away from the government in underground facilities. They’ve tried to burrow out, but in the process, gone insane and lost the ability to use language. We call them “naked mole rats” because we no longer recognize them as tragically oppressed humans.

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Perhaps this is DiCaprio’s secret??

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Imagine Eric Schmidt or Peter Thiel’s faces, translucent and sagging, grafted onto one of those pink, tumescent bodies, attached by pulsing plastic tubing to anemic, emaciated teenaged blood “donors”, and you have a clear vision of the future.

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There are jillions of ICD-10 “Age-related” diagnoses, but I can’t seem to find “old age” as a diagnosis itself.

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tenor

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They die of embarrassment.

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It’s like those dreams where you’re naked!

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Maybe it’s related to Sumatran Rat-Monkey?
That would explain a few things…

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My own personal test (thought experiment) for acceptability of an otherwise unattractive creature: HOW GOOD DOES IT LOOK AFTER HAVING BEEN BOILED?

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