People of Earth! We come in peace!
Greetings from the Galactic Council, an organization of more than 15,000 civilizations dedicated to friendship and mutual assistance. We have been monitoring your species for over 200 of your years, and we come to offer our help with some critical issues such as climate change and sectarian violence that threaten to destroy your planet. Accordingly, the Council has decided, by a vote of 50.02% to 49.98%, to grant you probationary status in the…
SPLAT!
… wait … what? WTF?
I used to attend a school next door to a zoo, which gave the students free admission. One of the monkey species was always leaping around with like an inch of their bumtubes dangling out (no, I don’t know what the story was and I never asked). And I hear it’s not uncommon in the perversion industry; you just pop it back in and everything’s fine.
I have no idea if it’s dangerous to leave it all hanging out, or whether it’s only possible for people who do a lot of fisting. I’m just throwing it out there as an idea.
Hang on, don’t drop that first idea so fast…
There is another business opportunity here, I think!
Possibly two.
Rather than making
Softer poo, make harder poo
Turn’d bricks, bound with glue
Except that job belonged to the Navy.
Two of my favorite things combined. Funny commercials and fart jokes.
Weell, old Doc Scranton walks by, a good old boy too, there’s not a finer man in this valley than Doc Scranton. He’s got a prolapsed asshole and when he wants to get screwed he’ll pass you his ass on three feet of in-tes-tine … If he’s a mind to it he can drop out a piece of gut reaches from his office clear over to Roy’s Beer Place, and it go feelin’ around lookin’ for a peter, just a-feelin’ around like a blind worm …
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