Originally published at: Note for anyone stealing this guy's Porsche 914 | Boing Boing
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I just had a short story published today, and this was the best thing I’ve read all day. So ah… good work, Mr. Miata inventor, that was hysterical (and accurate… had a friend with a 914 back in the day).
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Reminds me of my old '77 Datsun that was almost rusted through, had electrical issues, and was semi-repaired on multiple fronts. Good times. 
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Car thief: “what’s a ‘clutch pedal’?”
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A colleague of mine some years back owned 2 sports cars in quick succession: the first was a classic Porsche that displayed some similar quirkiness to this one. He really quickly replaced that one with a Mazda Miata and reduced his stress and frustration levels immensely.
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I had an aftermarket pumper carb on a supermoto a while ago. Two twists of the throttle and it would fire right up. Three would flood it, one wouldn’t prime it.
It was frustrating when people would come twist the throttle while it was parked.
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Starting my very out of warranty daily driver '72 MBZ 306d involves flipping several switches and pulling the gorilla knob for 30 seconds before ignition. Shutting it down again is done by simply operating the hand squeezed vacuum pump that is loosely mounted under the driver’s seat.
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The older your car is, the more likely you are a shadetree mechanic.
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I knew someone who bought one of these the first year they were built (1974?) and then
Kept it in the garage
With a Sheet over it
Drove it to work VERY carefully on nice days only.
Otherwise it stayed in the garage.
The entire purpose of all this was to bring it to a Porsche Club of America Concours in TEN YEARS and win a trophy.
all original with miles beats all original that is a trailer queen, plus some other arcane points rules
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Spock: Oh, I believe they had a device known as a. . . a clutch
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I don’t think his experience and advice had anything to do with the car being out of warranty. Just old and well-used (and perhaps at some point, not very well maintained).
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Boy, I do not miss cars like this at all.
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Absolutely true. I have a 1975 MGB that I bought dirt cheap at the start of the pandemic in rust-free but non-running condition. After getting a hold of a wiring diagram and replacing all the fluids and battery it runs like a champ…for now. I’m really enjoying it though.
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Uh, this has been every car that I have owned for all of my adult life since the seventies.
I just reacquired the Volvo 544 from my nephew’s wife, who couldn’t handle the quirks.
This is it in 1972 when we got it from my dad’s technician after its first wreck:
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71 240Z long past its best before date! Got good at driving standard without a clutch.
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Awww, but just look at it!
But, yeah. My dad had a VW Beetle that had the same weird burnt oil, ‘gas you to death’ problem, among others. And I’ve had many an entertaining time with various superannuated British Leyland products back when fifty quid got you a 25-30 year old car that wasn’t on fire and might not kill you. I still miss some of them.
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I have a late 60s Type 1 VW and this story is nearly the same as what I could write. Loved the part about wiping off the oil film from the glass, haha! And no choke on my dual kadrons, yep, you gotta give them a squirt from the accelerator pump just right, though I would add it depends on the weather. Warmer days don’t take as much, but colder days will take more priming and more use of the starter motor.
ETA: I switched over to Hagerty insurance for my older cars and so now I get their weekly email digest. Surprisingly, they have some pretty good writing and good coverage on classic car auctions and other topics that might interest people with their latent teenager still inside.
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