BOFH: You can be replaced by a robot or get your carbon footprint below Big Dave’s
“Carb loading means carbon sequestration.”
Now there’s a strategy.
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Sadly they didn’t get hold of Harlan Ellison.
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… A.I. simulated Harlan Ellison says “fuck you all”
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Well, hello to you too. 
Ridiculous but deadly serious pretty much sums up Karneval or indeed German humour in general.
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Few murders, but lots of murder writers. 
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Their books are shelved in the fantasy section.
Must be nice.
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The ones that they know about. 
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Reminds me of a funny/sad/embarrassing to watch episode of People’s Court where a husband/wife couple claimed that they had been duped out of a prize they had won in a drawing, it being a two-wheeled vehicle of some sort, yet not advertised as anything beyond being “super” and “fast” and “sporty”, and “sleek”, etc., etc., etc. The defendant (a small company) had created a colorful narrative that gave the vague impression that the prize could be something like a Harley motorcycle but without ever saying specifically what the prize was. What the couple won was a bike for a small child, and I think it had a motor. Now, if someone put a gun to my head and forced me to guess where the middle-aged couple came from, I would have had to say, the Ozarks. That’s what would have popped into my head. They were in the Big City now and had been bit. They were insistent that they had been cheated. The defendant had an annoying little smile on her face throughout, no doubt because her company’s prize notice had been scrubbed and approved by a lawyer before going out. After studying the prize notice, Wapner found for the defendant, and this is part of what he told the plaintiffs: “There are two sayings: There’s a sucker born every day. And there is no such thing as free lunch.” Hard lesson there.
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… not many missing people either
They keep track, and everybody’s fine
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Apparently, Paul Verhoeven (the guy who directed Robocop and Starship Troopers) wrote a book about Jesus of Nazareth?
I’m really confused…
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Now I’m not an expert in comparative folklore, but to me this looks like
a) the modern version of something more, shall we say robust1) that has
b) been moved from taking place in autumn to springtime. Might have something to do with how the fetes in the neighbouring communities are scheduled.
You can find variations of this all over the place and it usually is explained2) as having been derived from “pagan” harvest time rituals. The rooster being a symbol for some natural spirit/demon/whatever who steals the last sheaf of corn from the harvest. Which in this context would be just the amount of food that decides whether there is enough to eat to make it through the upcoming winter or not. So the fiend must be killed, and in a make-sure-it-is-dead way, just to be in on the safe side.
1) Like splatting a (live) hen or rooster. And other or additional agricultural implements of painful death.
2) In some places in the Rhineland the story is that the rooster symbolizes the “arch enemy”, i.e. France - but it’s a safe bet that’s something they tacked on sometime in the 19th century.
Bonus variation: in Solingen they use swords, because what else would they use in Solingen. Traditionally blunt ones. Given that the region has a reputation for sharp swords this seems to me as a deliberate detail to, I don’t know, channel anger or something. They did stop using a live rooster quite a while ago, though.
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Some guy is killed but comes back from the dead to rid the world of evil.
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Verhoeven was a member of the Jesus Seminar
Since he is not a professional biblical exegete, his membership in the Jesus Seminar has occasionally been cited by opponents of the Seminar as a sign that this group is less scholarly than it claims
some Jesus Seminar members were unhappy with Verhoeven’s portrayal of Jesus as an eschatological prophet.
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C’mon, spoiler alert!
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Robo Jesus scares me.
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Aww, nah, he looks so cute…
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