It would be interesting to see if this is true in other countries. My personal experience in the UK is that violence tends to increase the poorer the trans woman is, but there have not been any studies done AFAIK.
Poverty and race do seem to be strongly correlated though.
Exactly. EX-ACT-LY.
There are many points in dating a person that can be adult and emotional but not physical or sexual at all. Additionally some of those moments can also be similar between two platonic friends or between to people romantically involved.
I expressly compared someone revealing a mental health issue to revealing they are transgender; not because I think hey are the same but because I feel most people would consider them equally “serious” a topic to discuss. They can be equal parts deal-breaker or shoulder-shrug in a relationship for someone and I really cannot say what end of the spectrum it would be for anyone.
Saying right before was not a literal statement; however, that individual takes it as such. I suspect because it suits their argument and perspective of outrage that someone who hide their gender from him. (I am paraphrasing their view point here).
PERSONALLY speaking. Finding out that a woman I was dating and liked very much was transgender (to whatever degree that meant) would not be anything close to the worst thing she could tell me. Assuming again he emotional connection is strong and real…It would be like her telling me she was not a natural blonde.
I think one issue we all have is the very first point you made “have a normal first date”. I think people have forgotten what that even means. I count myself lucky that I do it have to date anymore because I think I’d loathe it as much as you allude to.
If I’m reading into it and if I’m wrong please correct me. But I think you’d qualify a normal first date the same as I would. Two adults having some food and drinks perhaps coffee or tea and talking. Sharing some time and space together and getting to know who the person is a little and feel around to the boundaries of that person.
Problem is too many people I think expect more than that simple human interaction.
I just sent a bunch of posts off as a gift to our dearly retired luckdragon as a nostalgic snack, as they were all discussing the pedantry of replies rather than the subject at hand.
I can’t emphasize this enough. These are important topics to many people. Please treat each other with respect when debating them. Assume good faith or flag otherwise.
Failing to heed this message may result in vacations. Thanks.
Confirmed. First dates suck.
I would qualify that as a first date, and part of my point is that, for a lot of guys, possibly including some in this thread, if I don’t disclose during or prior to that first date that I’m trans, I am misleading them. So, even if it ends as a typical first date, and doesn’t get physical, and then there’s a second or third date and then I disclose that I’m trans, odds are pretty good the guy is going to get pissed. Now, I’m not going to say I fear for my life because I don’t. As a white trans woman, just going by the statistics, I’m not nearly at as high a risk as a trans woman of color. Still, it’s not an entirely unheard of outcome. So, while first dates may suck for everyone because of unclear boundaries and expectations, being murdered when you reveal your health history isn’t exactly a very common fear for cis people.
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