Patriot Act's author to spooks: roll over or you get nothing


#1

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#2

Demanding the NSA voluntarily fix themselves is akin to using this gimmick to fix a shotgun wound to the face or gut.

When a primary problem is the NSA's repeated and blatant lying Congress, this demand equates to: "Stop lying to us (in ways that we find out about)!"

Dear Congress, how about instead of bargaining with the NSA, we just seriously de-fund them and also not reauthorize any of the Patriot Anti-Constitution Act?


#3

I wonder how hard it would be to get the data center and phone central office workers to cut the fibers leading from the gizmos that the NSA installed?


#4

Also, my German is pre-K, but Google Translate confirms that this guy's last name (Sensenbrenner) literally translates as Scythe Burner? I guess that makes sense for a scorched-earth style of policy making.


#5

Dear Mr. Sensenbrenner,

It'd be a shame if anyone was to find out about your predilection for goat-fucking. What's that you say? You don't fuck goats? Well I'm sure we can "find" some evidence that you do. And who do you think the public will believe? Us or a known goat-fucker?

-Totally Not the NSA


#6

A video of that, if it were to come to pass, would make a great bookend counterpoint to the computer destruction at the Guardian. Especially if they used axes.


#7

I wonder when someone will run this trick in reverse... "What? My hard drive is full of Satanic Communist Jihad Animal Porn? That must have been the NSA!"


#8

And indict James Clapper and Keith Alexander for perjury and treason. Aim for the death penalty to deter those who would try this again.


#9

I'm going to sound like a sarcastic jerk, but there is no way Congress will seriously de-fund the goose that keeps laying golden, secret-filled eggs. Those babies are the currency of all the three-letter agencies.


#10

You don't sound like a sarcastic jerk, but you do sound like a possible person of interest.


#11

...And Sensenbrenner actually thinks that Congress ordering a bunch of swine who happily break every law they encounter to disband will stop them ?

That's adorable. A guy who wrote an act as stupid and un-American as the Patriot act in the first place, in order to stop a bad thing, still believing that THIS TIME - NO, REALLY I DO ! - he has The Answer To Our National Nightmare.

Obviously, Sensenbrenner doesn't grasp the central point of "Frankenstein" - Much like Ted Cruz and Dr. Seuss: Grandstanding, panicky, dangerously dumb idealogues who are convinced that they're smartest guys in the room.


#12

This is an interesting bit of theater. What I'm reading is that they want to keep 215 but they need some concessions from the NSA so they can get re-elected after they reauthorize it.

If Sensenbrenner had real concerns about 215 and the abuses against everyone on the planet, he would not even consider reauthorizing 215.


#13

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