Person with "machete" turns out to be carrying a leek

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/10/30/person-with-machete-turns-out-to-be-carrying-a-leek.html

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In America, this would demand all the local cops, SWAT, two helicopters, National Force, assault weapons…

… and a taser!

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Didnt Monty Python show that a leek could be a deadly weapon? Or was that limited just to fruits?

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To give them the important lecture on how menacing with a melee weapon is unamerican; and offer them use of the courtesy glock until they are able to properly equip themselves; or to execute them while shouting “Stop resisting! Stop resisting!”?

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They were cited for not carrying a haggis.

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That would be “Defense Against Fresh Fruit.” Veggies is a 200-level class.

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…unless they were black, in which case the first officer on the scene would have put 17 bullets in him, then checked what was in his hand. All the other officers would show up later and subsequently swear under oath they all saw a gun.

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It may have been in Scotland but are they sure he wasn’t Welsh?

I think it’s a top secret secret that I’ll probably get into trouble for mentioning, but there are variations of Llap-Goch (the well-known Welsh martial art) that deploy leeks.

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I thought Welsh martial arts were all consonant-based.

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Leeks.

A machete.

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Good job it was a leek and not a table leg. And Aberdeen rather than London.

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Captain Fluellen, I presume?

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In fairness; they probably look a lot more similar if in a bag(which I think is normal for produce transport; and certainly plausible for socially-inappropriate knife transport).

That said, the same is true of a vast number of benign objects; so I find it hard to avoid the conclusion that there wasn’t some other factor at work; either jumpiness on the reporter’s part or something rather striking about the leekwielder’s affect or behavior.

He was detained on suspicion of Welshness. Carrying leeks is not illegal in Scotland except for the two-week period prior to St. David’s Day (Mar. 1).

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Not all, but even those considered more humane must include at least one “Ll” and one “ch”.

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That witness ought to cut back their time spent playing pokemon

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I bet this happens every time Danny Trejo goes shopping.

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I think the technical offence is ‘going equipped to be Welsh’. Any public carrying of leeks (or daffodils) can potentially give rise to a charge.

That’s allium going to say on the topic today.

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Ouch!

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Yep. That’shallot for today, oh yes.

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