Careful there. Consent is essential.
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I read this in the voice of Tom Waits, though I cannot recall which song includes this line.
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I recently heard “Busier than a one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.”
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Mine is, " It’s colder than a banker’s heart".
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I saw him at Seton Hall, South Orange, New Jersey 1974ish, and it was there that he said at least 10 times just that, a Nor Easter was blowing like mad outside while he did his gig.
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It was sooo cold…
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It’s so cold the lawyers have their hands in their own pockets.
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“Don’t get your knickers in a twist” is going out of fashion in Britain? Where’s Basil Brush when you most need him?
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Heavens to Murgatroyd.
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Last week I had occasion to call my local electric and gas utility company. There was a lot to go through, but we hung in there and got everything squared away. As an indication of my relief and contentment, I said “now we’re cooking with gas!” and the CSR responded in a confused manner. She had never heard the phrase. I’d guess (based on voice) in her mid-30’s to early-40’s maybe? But she works at the gas company!
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Just to be clear - I am no Trumpist non-consensual tit-grabber. Every tit I have ever grabbed has been with the full consent of its owner.
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It was sooo cold…
[waits, tapping foot…]
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Colder than the nipple on a witch’s tit!
Colder than a bucket of penguin shit!
Colder than the hairs of a polar bear’s ass!
Colder than the frost on a champagne glass!
-Gravity’s Rainbow
Pretty sure I never finished the whole damn book, but that little verse stuck in my head.
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I think the idea is when said witch is out flying on their broomstick. It’s going to be very hard for anyone but said tit’s owner to feel it at that point.
On the other hand, the only problem with the brass monkey one is going to be finding a brass monkey out in the cold, any that are left are probably in museums.
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Those balls belong in a museum?
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I was just thinking yesterday about the way my mother has said “my back teeth are awash” and other phrases I never use.
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Well, now that you’ve collected enough archaic British phrases, the script for next season’s Peaky Blinders is mostly done.
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There is a need for each generation to somehow shock their parents. My observation is that the younger people go directly to the conventional swear words rather than creative metaphors.
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Notes from idly thumbing through the OED
A fly in the ointment (59%) biblical ecclesiastices
A flash in the pan (57%) 1810
Knickers in a twist (56%) 1971
Dead as a doornail (55%) 1362 (piers plowman)
Flogging a dead horse (54%) 1872
Toe the line (54%) 1813 (as toe the mark)
Drop them a line (53%) too vague to search
Steal my thunder (53%) ?
Be there or be square (52%) ? (sounds like mid 20th century)
Put a sock in it (52%) 1925 (from a dictionary of sailor slang)
Raining cats and dogs (51%) 1652
Selling like hot cakes (49%) 1839
Pardon my French (48%) 1845
Cold as a witch’s tit 1932 (In reference to Utah’s cliimate)
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[shouts] How cold was it ???
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