You don’t have sick days?
Do I…?
Okay, can we all agree the Republicans are just letting this all play out while verbalizing all their greatest fantasies of what they’d love to vote for and biding their time so when Trump does something that really, really gets their goat they’re going to impeach him in the span of two days and plunk Pence in there so they can get to work without having to worry about some nutjob, right? And then blame all the terrible things on Trump and Obama and say how different Pence is and how normal he is and what a relief it is to have him in charge?
That said, do you think that we will all literally survive until that point? Asking seriously, like, “should I pull the passports and keep them in the car with some bottled water?”
Aren’t I a bit worried about being allowed back into the country after we go on holiday in a few weeks?
Shouldn’t you just use that as an excuse to not come back? I’m going to Toronto next week and considering asking for asylum.
But won’t I be in France?
With my track record of influencing votes in the UK and US recently, do you really want me there when they’re electing a president?
France? Definitely why would you come back? The movies are still in English and the museums are great, who else makes such great croissants?
If I wanted to have to speak French, wouldn’t I be living in Montreal already?
Didn’t I just go to Paris last summer with, at most, a hundred vocabulary words and basically just get spoken to in English by people who were annoyed at me? Who said you had to learn French?
Paris, Texas?
Who would go there? Do they even speak English there?
Is Stormtrooper armor actually useful to defend against any relevant attack? Isn’t it a little weird that a blaster shot or even a determined ewok can kill a Stormtrooper?
And the masks only filter smoke but not poison?
Oh the laser that defies the laws of physics? Easy peasy. Working armour? Whoa whoa whoa there buddy.
Have you ever noticed that the people who want something from you, like panhandlers, speak excellent English, while the people you want something from, like ticket agents, don’t?
Is this a good place to mention how relieved I was when, after 6 months of living in rural Yorkshire, I took a trip to Norway and finally found myself among people whose English I could understand?
What if the CIA really did stand and clap along with Trump’s guys, shouting and whooping for as long as they possibly could so that Trump would tell the story that way and in truth, sound crazier than a liar?
What kind of games was it the CIA are good at again? Something to do with ahh… -mind- games?
Is the global economy safe from this American societal nuclear fallout during and/or post Trump dropping all these signatures on things he knows little to nothing about? Is Canada, or even New Zealand, safe from America ending up all FUBAR? Is this really keeping me up at night?
Is anywhere safe from this nutjob?
Are we really relying on the likes of Mike Pence, Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell to save us from this lunatic?
How is NZ this time of year, anyway?
Does the weatherman in New Zealand think our summer is one of the cooler summers, weather-wise?
Do we also have more freedom than America?
Did you just donald yourself? Isn’t that a self-aware and bold move?