Did you know that our march was cancelled because the entire route was already totally filled with marchers, hours before it was supposed to start?
Don’t you know that I looked anyway?
You know how awesome that is?
Don’t we all need to pour some out now?
Just to look at?
Surely we’re just pouring out the cheap stuff?
You don’t think that ol’ banana is worth the finest?
Does anyone here know about French politics?
Any thoughts about Benoît Hamon or Emmanuel Macron?
Why do I think taking the Bourbon trail was a bad idea when I need to go into work tomorrow?
You don’t have sick days?
Do I…?
Okay, can we all agree the Republicans are just letting this all play out while verbalizing all their greatest fantasies of what they’d love to vote for and biding their time so when Trump does something that really, really gets their goat they’re going to impeach him in the span of two days and plunk Pence in there so they can get to work without having to worry about some nutjob, right? And then blame all the terrible things on Trump and Obama and say how different Pence is and how normal he is and what a relief it is to have him in charge?
That said, do you think that we will all literally survive until that point? Asking seriously, like, “should I pull the passports and keep them in the car with some bottled water?”
Aren’t I a bit worried about being allowed back into the country after we go on holiday in a few weeks?
Shouldn’t you just use that as an excuse to not come back? I’m going to Toronto next week and considering asking for asylum.
But won’t I be in France?
With my track record of influencing votes in the UK and US recently, do you really want me there when they’re electing a president?
France? Definitely why would you come back? The movies are still in English and the museums are great, who else makes such great croissants?
If I wanted to have to speak French, wouldn’t I be living in Montreal already?
Didn’t I just go to Paris last summer with, at most, a hundred vocabulary words and basically just get spoken to in English by people who were annoyed at me? Who said you had to learn French?
Paris, Texas?
Who would go there? Do they even speak English there?