I love it when a semi-snarky post gets a serious reply. Thanks!
Well, half- (or even whole-) snarky and rhetorical questions quite often have interesting answers.
And even in case of jokes, some are more fun when taken seriously. 
Also, eyeballmetry, sniffometry, and lickometry are the three basic analytical techniques. So it was actually a valid question.
(On a side note, for a while I was tempted to dissolve a piece of my pitchblende sample and take a taste myselfâŚ)
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Lead-laced food. Not even once.
Where you put the dose threshold to decide if there âisâ or âis notâ lead in it? You can find traces of just about anything in just about everything.
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I think there is a sleep app where you can load up an MP3 file and adjust playback options for white noise. I found this program: http://www.softpedia.com/get/Multimedia/Audio/Other-AUDIO-Tools/Ambient-Sounds.shtml and think there are some apps that wil let you do this too.
There are also very long âvideosâ (really just sound) posted to youtube for this purpose- so you can go to sleep with 8 hours of white noise, waterfalls, vacuum cleaners, hairdriers, or urination, according to your preference.
I never was particularly drawn to white noise. I think itâs because I have sensitive hearing, especially when I am tired, and so many of these recordings are low quality that I just cannot deal with them, especially when there is any kind of repeat effect. I also do not like most of the crap New Age crap the massage places play; Iâd much prefer good quality recordings in the same genre or even just good music with a mellow quality to it - less pan flute, more steel drums. I would really like to own a super high quality sound system and learn enough to select the right recordings for it, because I can def tell the difference in sounds.
I used to have a pink noise generator, built from scratch. In a nice metal box, with six or eight pots on the front panel to set it up. Two generators, one of white noise with filters, one of a slow sine wave for amplitude modulation for a sea surf effect. That was many years before internet streaming.
I also used with quite some success a text-to-speech generator fed with random digits. The monotonous speech was oddly soothing.
Today Iâd likely just write a noise generator on a computer, if I wouldnât be in extra mood for analog circuitry.
Tomorrow (and perhaps even today) we could use computer-generated music with given parameters (style, instrumentsâŚ). There are programs out there for generative music that can do even classical pieces; nothing that could rival genius-level composers but reportedly can be quite on par with the averages.
Some examples here: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=computer+generated+music
Some atrocious, some decent.
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one of those links went to one of my fave viral videos going around these days:
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I saw that!!! As someone who takes meds for ocd, I soooooo understand where they are coming from.
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