Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/04/17/save-20-on-this-dog-dna-test.html
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I did one of those for my self and one for the dog.
I think I got them mixed up. I came back “Scotch Irish Setter”
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And my dog came back 5% Neanderthal/Viking!
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I thought the ad image said “Easy + pointless!” Which seemed accurate.
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“We named the dog Gattica.”
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If there ever was a time to deep dive into the DNA of your dog, now is surely that time. Nothing else going on.
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“Not only does DNA My Dog break down your dog’s exact breed, genetic composition, and personality traits, but a simple swab of your dog’s cheek can unlock all the details you need to help your pet live a long and happy life.”
This is so much bullshit. There aren’t markers for individual breeds, and you certainly can’t fucking figure out “personality traits” from this sort of test.
I’ll tell a story (I understand, …wholly anecdotal) about my personal experience with these tests: Our Animal Hospital was sent a promo pack for genetic testing with a voucher for 2 free tests. Very coincidentally, we had a client in that day with a rescue dog that very clearly had a lot of asian breed in it (purple tongue, chow-like hair, fairly blocky head on a medium to large dog frame) that the new owners were asking what breeds we thought were in it. We offered to send in the sample for free on their dog. Samples were collected, and the form to fill out requested a picture and our thoughts on possible breeds… WTF? So, we sent it in without that info. The results came in pretty wacky. 60% some small terrier breed, 15% springer spaniel, etc… There was no f-ing way that this was any better than drawing breeds from a hat. So we told the owner this, and offered to send in a second sample (under a fake name), with all of the requested info (including picture). Lo and behold! Completely different results, now with “Chow” as the dominant proportion of the genetics.
Again, completely anecdotal, but IMHO as a licensed veterinarian, if you’re thinking about spending money on one of these tests, put a picture of your dog in an envelope with a $10 bill, and I’ll be more than happy to guess for you. The results will be equally accurate. I’ll even be happy to make up some horoscope level personality read on your dog that really could apply to any dog…
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I get the impression that they’re trying to market to people who are concerned about the genetic health of theirs dogs. But anyone who is really concerned about genetic health won’t be buying a pure breed dog, because the process of ensuring pure breeds involves minimising genetic variation, resulting in extremely high rates of genetic illnesses. The quote even alerts us that each breed has its own common diseases, which should be a warning sign that something is wrong here.
More of the science here:
Why diseases plague purebred dogs and how breeders, owners and genetics can help
While the heading in that Scientific America article refers to “genetics can help”, I’m not sure I agree with the part of the article that describes genetics “helping”. It’s seems to be a case of “How can we use several generations of selective breeding to produce a dog that meets our subjective arbitrary opinion of what makes a proper dalmation, while removing just one of the many objective defects that we introduced in our earlier genetic meddling.” This seems to place far too much emphasis on what the breeders and buyers want compared to what is good for the dog.
I sometimes find PETA’s view to be contentious and extreme, but I think this one from over a decade ago nails it.
Purebred Breeding Is ‘Animal Cruelty’
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I’ve only ever owned been owned by mutts. Some of them clearly looked more like one breed or another, but other dogs were a mystery mix. I’d be curious to try something like this… but as a curiosity only. (And even at the reduced price-- I’m not that curious.) I think the personalities of the puppers are far more interesting than the pedigrees. 
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This! So much this! Not to mention the fact that since the whole idea of pedigree dog breeds was only really invented in the late 1800s, there are plenty of dogs around that aren’t any specific breed at all. I wish people would stop insisting that all mutts must be crossbreeds. Lots of them are, especially in Western countries. But plenty aren’t.
The BEST dog is a mutt that comes from a shelter - the one that looks at you from behind those bars and you can see in their eyes they’ll be your best friend forever if you just take them home.
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Ha! This.
One of my favorite things to say (not in the front of the office) is to bitch about someone who paid $whateverK for a “blah blah - poo”: “It’s not a special breed just because something fucks a poodle”.
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I need to send this one in. Little chupy is a bit of mystery to me. He loves hiding under the bed and playing “GOT YOUR FOOT”…such a cut up.
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