Originally published at: Scientists determine which paper makes the worst paper cuts - Boing Boing
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They’re just trying for an ignobel.
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The first cut is the deepest.
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I do remember just how horrid dot matrix printer paper was. I always felt it was somehow drier? than other paper, and that handling it (when, e.g., working at a terminal that didn’t have a screen – that’s right kids!) would dry out my hands and make them more cut-prone.
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It really isn’t usually.
The citizen scientists from Jackass would refute the assertion that “Paper cuts only happen when you aren’t trying.” Ditch the ballistic gel - give these guys a ring for some human test subjects!
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Now that you’ve said that, I had to post it.
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Baby, I know.
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The first cut won’t hurt at all
The second only makes you wonder
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It’s been six hours and the thread hasn’t devolved into an endless argument about paper sharpening yet. 
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I’m sorry, but these scientists obviously didn’t test
Cardboard.
I got to empirically test lotsa types of paper while working at a corporate chain bookstore. I stripped covers off zillions of paperbacks and magazines, and scanned them to be sent back as returns. I rec’d & opened zillions of cardboard boxes, and broke them down.
I got paper cuts from magazine pages and covers of varying type. The glossy, heavier mag covers cause much worse damage than their contents.
Mass market paperback covers never bit me. Their edges aren’t sharp enough. We occ’ly got romance PBs who had a glossy illustration sort of frontispiece, like a 2nd, thinner, inner cover. Those fuckers do bite, and are almost as bad as the heavier glossy mag covers.
None of them can compare to the damage and pain that is caused by cardboard paper cuts. The cuts are usually longer, they are always much deeper, and much wider than what more conventional forms of paper can accomplish. All of that = lots more pain. One single cardboard paper cut is too many, and it provides an unpleasant & unforgettable learning experience.
All workplaces which involve the use of much paper should have germkilling agents like rubbing alcohol, and superglue available for paper cut sufferers. Superglue (cyanoacrylate) is The Sovereign Cure for paper cuts. Once the glue is dry, the pain disappears and stays gone. Air getting in the cut helps make it hurt. Re-application may be needed.
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Not only, as you point out, are cardboard and things like manilla/interoffice envelopes more savage by their nature - many of us (future victims) dive into them with force, speed and abandon. Of course we’d shuffle and carefully deal a deck of razor blades without blood or tears because, duh, razor blades. It’s that damn carton or meaningless physical spam mail that brings the true misery.
I love this research, and this should be in the IgNobel running. Solid science, but for a larf, but then again kind of meaningful.
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I worked for an oil company in their reproduction dept in my misspent early adulthood. Among other nefarious devices I operated an Ozalid machine that used rolls of treated whiteprint paper that screamed along at up to 50’/minute. I was the shop Dettol King from nasty paper cuts. My hands were incredibly dry from handling the paper and the ammonia-laden air that produced the finished images. The cuts were unpredictable and often deep; picture handling a fast moving razor blade.
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Cued to relevant line:
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