Sears chairman Eddie Lampert submits new $5 billion bid to save doomed retailer


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/01/09/sears-chairman-eddie-lampert-s.html


#2

Future generations may never know to respond to exhortations of, “I’m serious!” with the punchline, “I’m Roebuck. Let’s start a store!”


#3

Bring back the bible thick catalogs, they were great pot belly stove fire starters.


#4

And graced many a rural outhouse for both utility and entertainment.


#5

Just shut the dang thing down. It’s doomed anyway, and prolonging the agony just lets Lampert shift more assets from the stockholders and employees into his own pocket.


#6

Yes Sir! Worked like a charm…


#7

I’m kinda rooting for it to fail and for Lampert to get an all-expenses paid vacation to Club Fed as a reward for putting the douche in fiduciary duty.


#8

Didn’t he already plunder most of Sears valuable long terms real estate holdings and sell them off to himself and some buddies for cash? Yeah, that’s a great long term strategy for the company. Oops, I forgot, he has the same short term strategy as Trump and his cabinet of cronies: take all the assets you can, as quickly as you can before the bust.

Lampert and all other corporate plunderers, and all the boards of directors who enable them, should be prosecuted for breach of fiduciary duty.


#9

I’m hoping that it blasts a chunk off the Rosenwald family fortune, such that Nina Rosenwald stops funding hate groups, but they probably diversified a generation ago.


#10

2004: “Trust me, it’ll work!”
2005: “Trust me, it’ll work! And I mean it this time!”
2006: “Trust me, it’ll work! And I really mean it this time!”
2007-2019: “Trust me, it’ll work! And I really, really mean it this time!”


#15


#16

worked like a Charmin indeed.


#17

Not really sure what sears is good for anymore.
I’ve cruised their not-great-to-use website in the past couple years & it’s just turned into an bland re-seller market place.
Also,


#18

As far as i know Sears is mainly used to buy home appliances and to get their warranty service in case they ever need maintenance… judging by the fact that my parents have been using Sears for the last 5 years or so. I think their service is/was shit


#20

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