Shark repellants don't work


#1

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#2

Best shark repellent ever invented: stay out of the damn water where sharks are swimming.


#3

Not even Batman’s?


#4

Snark repellent? Yeah, like that’ll work.


#5

Yeah, tell that to Tara Reid.

(Or Jane Curtain…)


#6

Have they tried this?


#7

Basically, any NY-based funny lady in the 70’s…


#8

Would have worked, if she’d remembered to fold the custard into the egg whites, instead of the other way around.


#9

Wait. That wasn’t a shark, it was just a candygram. Nevermind.


#10


#11

What about the ducks? Won’t somebody please think of the ducks?


#12

Pshaw, next thing you’re going to tell me my tiger repelling rock doesn’t work either.


#13

I dunno. Something tells me Julia Child might not be the best person to go to when it comes to repelling sharks…


#14

Goddamn it. Beat me to it by —><— that much.


#15

Today we will be making shark repellent, which is just too wonderfully delicious for words.

We will need a ready to cook duckling, fresh green apples, one teaspoon of balsamic vinegar, and a pinch of cinnamon.

… doesn’t work you say, hmm.


#16

Ack! The dreaded Oompa-Truumpa! Some solutions are worse than the problem–I’ll keep the sharks.


#17

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