Shark repellants don't work


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Best shark repellent ever invented: stay out of the damn water where sharks are swimming.


Not even Batman’s?


Snark repellent? Yeah, like that’ll work.


Yeah, tell that to Tara Reid.

(Or Jane Curtain…)


Have they tried this?


Basically, any NY-based funny lady in the 70’s…


Would have worked, if she’d remembered to fold the custard into the egg whites, instead of the other way around.


Wait. That wasn’t a shark, it was just a candygram. Nevermind.



What about the ducks? Won’t somebody please think of the ducks?


Pshaw, next thing you’re going to tell me my tiger repelling rock doesn’t work either.


I dunno. Something tells me Julia Child might not be the best person to go to when it comes to repelling sharks…


Goddamn it. Beat me to it by —><— that much.


Today we will be making shark repellent, which is just too wonderfully delicious for words.

We will need a ready to cook duckling, fresh green apples, one teaspoon of balsamic vinegar, and a pinch of cinnamon.

… doesn’t work you say, hmm.


Ack! The dreaded Oompa-Truumpa! Some solutions are worse than the problem–I’ll keep the sharks.


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