Short story by Plan 9 from Outer Space auteur Ed Wood, Jr

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The story opens on these mysterious explosions! Nobody knows what’s causing them, but it’s upsetting all the buffalo!

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So, 3000 years then.

I was at the newsstand on Laurel Canyon and Ventura Bl near the place Ed Wood was staying when he died. I wandered into the back and found an old box tucked in a corner with dirty books from the 70s in it. I perused them (for purely scientific reasons of course!) and came across six copies of the same book… The Third Sex: The Strange Story of Hermaphrodites by Dr Bob Dylan. I started reading it and it had a bunch of pseudo scientific gibberish in the introduction (the justification for redeeming social content no doubt), then it goes into short stories. The first story was about a low budget filmmaker working in porn. The next one is about angora sweater fetish and yet another one was about a Mexican Mummy/Vampire. I immediately recognized what I had found, and grabbed every copy they had and bought all of them… for the cover price of 45 cents each. The mummy story in it is much longer, and it reads like the treatment of his proposed mummy movie.

An absolute treasure… I have the Angora Murder book and the film business book by Wood, but none of them are as good as THE THIRD SEX!

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By the way, my theory on this is that when Wood was on his last legs, he grabbed a bunch of comp copies of the dirty books he worked on and took them down to the newsstand to trade for cigarettes. They sat there in a box for thirty years waiting for me to come along and recognize what they were.

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The thing that surprised me most about his career was that the much-ridiculed Glen or Glenda was a surprisingly informative and nonjudgmental take on LGBT issues for its time. Still not a great film by any stretch, but hardly one of the worst things ever committed to celluloid.

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Good from the first ellipsis to, well, the last ellipsis.

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You can read it in a Lugosi voice, but nothing beats Criswell for narration.

What? CAN YOU PROVE IT DOES?

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