Since 2018, Certs Mints have outperformed Bitcoin as an investment, nine to one.

Originally published at: Since 2018, Certs Mints have outperformed Bitcoin as an investment, nine to one. | Boing Boing

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I would have to say that the market for expired Certs is much thinner than it is for Bitcoin. You could go forever and not sell 13,000 rolls. And every roll you sold, would likely reduce the demand.

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But why ever sell? Hoard as an investment! Line item: “Certs” on your portfolio.

Get others to agree to simply trade Certs and you have a currency.

Certs!

Disagree. Demand is based on need. Many of the rolls sold would be bought (and destroyed) by mint addicts, who would consume the mint itself. Hence, every roll sold is less Certs Mints on the planet. Every roll sold increases the value of all remaining Certs.

Certs!

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Ah, but then you take the photos you took for eBay and auction them as NFTs.

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Ha, It’s not any less ridiculous than the real world.

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giphy-5

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Seems Certs showed up just in time!

Crypto Crash: Market Now Braced For A Game-Changing White House Executive Order As Price Of Bitcoin And Ethereum Collapse

Bitcoin and cryptocurrency prices have crashed over the past week with around $1.4 trillion wiped from the combined crypto market—and sparking warnings of a new “crypto winter.” Analysts say: Should have gone with Certs!

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Damn, I didn’t realize Certs are no longer a thing. I kinda want some now but not expired though,

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Don’t do it. I put all my money into Necco Wafers back in 2018 and learned a hard lesson.

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Wow, if I could have made so much money from buying Certs in 2017 I should buy lots of them now!

Its the reverse of BitCoin: supply is going down! Kaching!

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NOTE: Purchases made with Certs are not added to the blockchain.

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Bitcoin investors: suck on this.

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Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here thinking about tulips.

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Off-topic-ish: how hard could it possibly be to find a substitute for partially hydrogenated oil in the Certs formula? Was it really more cost-effective to just shut down an entire product line than to do some basic R&D?

I guess the gum-and-mints market was (and still is) pretty saturated with novel products, so maybe it wasn’t worth it. There was probably another product waiting in the wings.

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Wonder what the numbers are if we compare from certs “mint” date and bitcoins “mint” date to now lol

A hard and slightly chalky lesson, I’m sure!
Random story: years ago I was walking aimlessly around Boston, MA and saw a smokestack painted to look like a roll of NECCO wafers. I walked to it, and it was the actual New England Candy Co. factory. I couldn’t get a tour, but they had bowls of all the candy for free: Mary Janes, Boston Baked Beans, NECCO wafers, it was a sweet walk home.

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This is not ‘investment’. This is ‘speculation’…

Thank you for attending my TED talk

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It seems unlikely that “investors” in Bitcoin will ever get their trillion dollars back out of it either

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I’m still underwater from the Great Twinkie Crash of 2016.

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