Yes, the only improvement may be making it even more form letter like. I.e. check marks next to Bad Grammar, Narrative, etc. But that is a very minor comedic quibble
On a more serious note I don't know how we are going to solve the gender issues in tech and gaming. Even if we get them as good as general culture itself it will still be bad.
But at the very least encouraging women and girls to be in tech hopefully will reinforce what we all already know--dont dismiss, hurt, abuse, mock, or trivialize that which is different.