Got curious about the “mich less common statistically” phrase there.
Latest figure on vibrator use I could find was 52.5% of women in the study group. Not exactly what I’d call “much less common.”
Ya, I think that their classification of “less common” is probably not exactly accurate, but the section quoted above seems to be referring to intercourse with two partners which probably has a lower percentage toy use.
Not scientific, but Sex toy statistics: the down low on who’s using what
23% of adults around the world have used sex toys during sex.I would expect that to be higher since I would assume that most everybody has used a toy during sex at least once..
If the 52.5% stat matches the survey, then that is probably 52.5% of the women who masturbate frequently:
- 44% of women between 18 and 60 have used a sex toy.
- 50% were in their 20s when they first tried a sex toy.
- 20% of women report masturbating at least once a week. Of those women, 60% use a sex toy.
Personally, I recall that even with partners possessing extensive toy collections we seemed to rarely use them (or barely used them).
This is the study I’m referring to. Herbenick et al (2009) in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. I didn’t have time to do more than scan it, but doesn’t sound like they were surveying just women who masturbate frequently. The paper does cite a number of previous studies, which gave values anywhere between 1% and 47% of women.
As far as your link goes, I would imagine that they’re excluding sex toy use during masturbation, but I’m also curious what would be considered “using” a sex toy. Would person A using a sex toy on person B count for person A, person B, both, or neither? Or, to complicate matters further (though that’s likely to be too small a segment to affect the total), what if there was also a person C, who was involved in the act but not directly involved with the use of the toy?
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Because your child getting their hands on 50 Shades of Gray will prepare them for the real world.
We have children & adults who somehow have no idea that sex can cause pregnancy.
Let that sink in.
What once was the occasional oddity on daytime talk is now becoming much more mainstream.
After years of parents screaming how dare you teach my kids about sex that is a parents position… well they dropped the fing ball.
Yes yes of course this is not all parents, but the educational system is 1 size fits all. It is the tool that is available for providing education to kids. They need something that works with the lowest common denominator.
We spend all of these resources on teaching them don’t let a stranger touch you, but never thought about what if they were making it mysterious magical and forbidden?
Fastest way to get a teenager to do something??? Tell them not to.
We live in a world where children the same age of these are dying in wars they had nothing to do with, those images are beamed into more childrens eyes… and we are terrified they might learn the proper name of genitals.
Sex happens, if you like it or not it is going to happen.
Kids will masturbate, they will experiment, they will do things you hoped you could keep them sealed in a plastic bubble and hidden from.
When it happens, and you are delusional to think ‘Not my kid’, do you want them trying things they heard of that one time online… or do you want them grounded in reality. Please consider a post online got many people to test the waterproofing an iOS update gave their phones. Now turn that into something involving sex and wonder if the extended warranty covers fixing your kids.
We stopped teaching civics… look at how that affected the world.
We stopped teaching sex ed… well hey at least that gave us Springer, Mauray, Steve Wilkos…
We need to teach Sex Ed, we need to accept reality not the delusions of parents who think… Not my kid.
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This.
Plain, rational, non-biased information on any sexual topic, no matter how deviant, can suck the joy right out of it. Those parents don’t realise how silly their worry is.
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Well, terms like “bondage”, “69”, etc are simply thrown around nowadays amongst the kids, and with sex being a naturally curious topic, the teens are sure to go by their means to find out more.
But by compiling the scientific facts into a sex-ed book, complete with comparisons of the advantages/disadvantages, they as educators stand to provide both sides of the coin to their students. That’s doing them a service, rather than having them surfing up the wrong media and learning it wrong, like “bondage is fun and 100% safe!” (which from my knowledge, is not always)
And so I applaud the school’s decision.
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yeah, i remember. it was scary and awkward. i don’t regret any of it, but it’s only gotten better since then, frankly. yes, even hand-holding, or especially hand-holding. so much purer and more intense.
i don’t know if it actually correlates with my greatly increased graphic and detailed awareness of endless varieties of sex acts; a lot of other things have changed too. however, i can definitely say that “ignorance is bliss” isn’t actually true for everyone.
it’s a good point. doing bondage like an idiot can easily lead to amputation or even death.
the realistic options are 1) ignore it and hope for the best (not a terrible approach, but not great), 2) tell kids that it’s really bad and never ever try it (the worst possible idea ever), 3) give neutral information presented in a gravely threatening way, 4) give neutral information in a “sex-positive” way.
note: it’s completely impossible to give information without any bias. the choices are pretty much between 1, 3, and 4. well, either that or offer an after-school shibari club…
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Or much, much younger. Anecdotal evidence, to be sure, but the story I hear most often in the kink community is some variation of “I was having fantasies about this stuff when I was five …” Although of course not in a sexualized context – one of my partners notes that she was very much into tying up the neighborhood kids when she was around that age, but didn’t make the sexual connection until she was much older.
Beyond just the preventing physical harm aspect, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to reassure young people that if they’re having these kinds of thoughts and fantasies, it’s OK, but please do play safe. (And don’t use 50 Shades of Gray as … well, anything except kindling, really.)
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"Teri Topham, whose daughter is going into ninth grade in Fremont and who
teaches high school at a Fremont charter school, said she would throw
the book, titled Your Health Today out. “Nooooooooo! My daughter won’t be an innocent moppet anymore! Soon she’ll be snorting PCP & giving blowjobs in the backseats of cars,’ she said, then burst into tears.”
There, I fixed it for you.
One aspect of sex ed that never seems to be mentioned is that, despite our assumption that kids soak up anything we’re willing to teach them on the subject, in reality it’s like any other subject: repetition is necessary for the info to sink in. I was surprised how much my kids DIDN’T learn in their mandatory sex ed classes, despite going to progressive schools with supposedly accurate info. In some cases, it seems they weren’t taught as thoroughly as I would like, and in some cases it seems that info they didn’t think would ever apply to them was forgotten quickly (or never learned at all). Doesn’t affect us so much since we do talk about these things, but for many families, sex ed in school might be the closest some kids ever get to factual info.
We can’t assume that reading a sentence which includes the word “bondage” will even register with most kids long enough to regurgitate it for a test. In other words, as good as this book seems to be – which is why the prudes are freaking out about it – it’s not enough to provide a full education to the students, let alone scar them in any way. The adults needn’t worry their little heads so much.
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Parents need to be careful because many many people are obsessed with sexualizing young teens and (surprise!) a lot of them are in teaching.
Are they learning about the danger of naked selfies? Of internet images that never go away? That engaging in consensual sex also increases the odds of being raped, beaten, murdered, and cyber-bullied? Or pedophiles? Do they get the message that for an adult to have sex with them is a crime?
When I hear stories of a couple 14 year old involved in a murder or relationship-driven suicide, I tend to assume that there was sex involved. And when a 14 year old girl is beaten by her boyfried, I have ask if there’s much chance sex was not involved?
Here’s a recent story about a guy who was having a “relationship” with a 14 year old boy. When the family cut him off, he killed the kid, his whole family,his own daughter, and then himself. Are kids being warned about these dangers?
I don’t know about your kinks, but I get off on rigorous analysis of sociosexual trends.
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Speaking of teachers who lack a certain amount of good judgement and maturity… We always hear these stories of teachers who somehow manage to accidentally show kids the porn on their laptops…
“It’s going to make kids think they’re doing something wrong when they find themselves in a 30 minute struggle to arouse their frigid partner and then fall asleep with their hand in her vagina”
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Not getting someone pregnant is good. How to be safe if you are a “dom” or a “sub” is probably an equally good idea.
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And, it was too good to be true that a school board in a small-ish Bay Area suburb might withstand some public pressure to “think of the children!” They’re walking back their decision and “postponing” bringing it in for a year. Anyone want odds on whether that postponement will be forever?
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Painful fact for parents: There isn’t a 13 year old in North America, outside of perhaps Amish colonies, who has not seen or watched some kind of pornography, somewhere, somehow. If not on your own computer, on their phone, their computers, a friend’s phone, a friend’s parents’ laptop. Face the fact - it has happened.
What parents and schools need to do is figure out how to teach our kids a healthy way to interact with others. That DOES NOT mean pretending that our kids are delicate innocents who will be ruined through exposure to some likely useful information.
My home town was full of families who adopted the ‘don’t tell kids about sex and they won’t do it’ approach. And there were a lot of teen parents.
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