Kids shouldn’t be learning that kind of stuff in school; that’s what the internet is for.
I’m recommending this one at book club next week.
I’m not sure that bondage needs to be in a school sex-ed book. If you are ready for getting into the more advanced kinkier stuff as a teen, you’re beyond the point that you’re still looking for the information on it in a school health book. But I’m all for the other stuff mentioned. If anything, teaching kids about things that humans can do with each other and with themselves that don’t get anyone pregnant is a good thing. I wish sex ed in school was sexier in the sense of teaching kids about things that are pleasant and how to have healthy sexual relationships. It may have changed some in the couple of decades since I was in high school, but back then it was all about the scary stuff, all about preventing diseases and pregnancy.
This is not unexpected. The school is going against Mom’s message that sex is for a married man and woman for procreation only.
On a side note, Penny Arcade of all places has been having a frank discussion on Sex Education for several days now. The comics start here: http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2014/07/21/the-talk-by-mike-krahulik
I haven’t seen the pictures in the book, but generally this sounds like the exact kind of sex ed I’ve been wishing they’d do. There’s no basis for believing that 9th graders would remain innocent about sex, so teaching them how to protect themselves, how things work, and best practices for interacting with one another seems critical. If everybody understands what the risks are and what they should expect in terms of respect from others, that makes it a lot less likely for them to take risks or be taken advantage of.
A lot of kids get no info about that kind of sex-positive sex stuff at home or get it from sources that are sexy, but not in a realistic or loving sort of way. Hard-core pornography isn’t necessarily the go-to resource we want to be guiding the next generation about sex. But we’re creating a situation where it seems to be all or nothing, nothing about how to do stuff that’s fun with someone you care about or how to pleasure yourself only how to prevent getting a deadly disease if you absolutely must give in to having sex, or totally filthy porno between two strangers filmed for the enjoyment of the viewer not optimized for a good experience for either participant. If we’re not making mutually respectful, fun for everyone, safer, healthier sex info easy to come by, we’re leaving kids to resort to the kind of stuff that is easy to come by. Ideas from porn to spice things up might be cool new stuff for old bored married couples, but teens who haven’t got tired of vanilla yet need something more their speed and aimed more at finding what pleases them and how their bodies work and how sex fits in with their normal lives and relationships. I wouldn’t want my teenage son (if I had one) to end up marrying a girl who had only learned about a female’s role in sex from watching females in porn or for him to treat her like women are treated in porn.
“The school is planning to keep the book.”
Hurray!!!
“There’s a section that tells you how to talk to your prospective partners about your sexual history,” said Asfia Ahmed, a parent and school district employee who said she may sue the district if it does not remove the book. “How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don’t see it at all.”
Bet she’s going to sue the hell out of them when she has to help with Pre-Calculus homework. “How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don’t see it at all.”
What a weak complaint. Why would you want your kid to not consider and make plans to talk with someone they’re going to have sex with? Mom is in denial.
Where’s Joycelyn Elders when we need her?
Oy. I see the point that this serves the purpose of inoculating the child against the horrible hard-core stuff they’re likely to find on the intertubes. But still… makes me queasy. I’m not sure that the role of the school isn’t to present a sort of social standard, even if it is rather vanilla and middle-of-the-road. There is something to finding things out “in the street”, and for it not to be controlled by social institutions. I don’t know. I don’t have young children, but I think I would vote against this and for a more strictly anatomical “here’s how your parts work”.
Of course, when I went to school they didn’t do this at all. It was strictly between you, your parents, wildly inaccurate urban legends, and dirty magazines.
Can anyone confirm that the textbook contains what the “parent who is a teacher” says it does? I can’t remember the number of times I’ve had arguments with people who lied about being teachers at my high school who also claimed that we were being taught to have sex with our siblings. Maybe that should be the first step before arguing about whether ninth graders should be introduced to gimp suits and ball gags.
Well kids should start at a tender age to learn the pleasures of life,i do completely agree with school,they should keep the text book,i personally wish i went to that school…whats the name of the sch again?
For what its worth, I’m guessing the book doesn’t include instructions on how to size anal plugs or anything like that. I’m betting it simply talks about the fact that sex is more than Penis In Vagina and that some people like things that others don’t.
It’s not like kids have not already heard about this from their schoolmates by this point, although if it was anything like when I was kid, most of what they heard was wrong and in retrospect quite stupid.
" it doesn’t meet their need for their ages"
For being a high school teacher, she sure doesn’t understand high school boys very well.
If we don’t teach it to them they can’t do it right? I mean that must be how it works. right?
I don’t know that I agree.
There’s some serious safety stuff around bondage that you’re not at all going to pick up from porn (whether written, photographed or filmed) and deciding it sounds hot. The book doesn’t have to go into detail, but some basics wouldn’t hurt - if you’re going to do any roleplay make sure there’s a clear safeword, think carefully about circulation and breathing, never leave a bound partner unattended even for a minute…
Kids today… it’s nice to have more options than some of us older folks who had to sneak views of their parent’s secret VHS stash when they were away.
Was skimming through the limited pages available through google books…
It also contains information on eugenics, so I assume that it is training kids to become a master race as well…
(from a study guide)
The main info that I saw related to sex ed was info on date rape drugs, contraception, stuff related to reproductive health, etc.
Edit: here is the snippet of text that displays when searching for “bondage” along with the book title
... Another kind of sex game is bondage and discipline, in which restriction of movement (e.g., using handcuffs or ropes) or...Edit 2: Searching for that block of text gives this page from Mcgraw Hill that appears to have the full text for the Varieties of Sexual Behavior and Expression section... http://dev6.mhhe.com/textflowdev/genhtml/0077228588/15.3.htm
Some sexual practices are much less common statistically in our society than those already described. If they are practiced between consenting adults and no physical or psychological harm is done to anyone, they are simply considered atypical. Examples are sex games in which partners enact sexual fantasies, use sex toys (vibrators, dildos), or engage in phone sex (talk about sex, describe erotic scenarios). Another kind of sex game is bondage and discipline, in which restriction of movement (using handcuffs or ropes, for example) or sensory deprivation (using blindfolds or masks) is employed for sexual enjoyment. Most sex games are safe and harmless, but partners need to openly discuss and agree beforehand on what they are comfortable doing.
Edit 4: Here is the entire sexual health chapter:
https://www.inkling.com/read/your-health-today-michael-teague-3rd/chapter-12/sexual-health-biology-and
Some kids at that age or not much older are going to start realizing that they have a kink or two. Some source for basic safety information rather than random stuff on the internet seems as though it might be good harm reduction. I admit that I am working on an assumption that a book like this is not going to reshape anyone’s interests, which could be wrong.
At that age, sex is still somewhat mysterious and magical. (Remember the first time you held someone’s hand and shared a kiss?) I think they would be doing everyone a favor and keep it on a health discussion level. Things like don’t get pregnant, don’t catch diseases and understand when someone says “no”. It’s also important to tell kids that they won’t go to hell for touching themselves and that sex isn’t just for making babies.
I don’t think it’s important to get graphical or too detailed with the endless varieties of sex acts. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days when sex was so mysterious and exciting that just holding hands was orgasmic.
