Starbucks now offers meat and pepper in your coffee


Originally published at:


…only offered at the Seattle Reserve Roastery, and as a specialty cold drink, it might not be around for long.

What a tease! It sounded like an upgrade from drinking my wine with a slim jim straw.


Thanks but no.


“Tall” isn’t small. There’s an off menu size “Small”.




This is going to create a massive dead zone in the Gulf of Mexico.


That looked pretty good when I thought it was a pint of Guinness.


But you still can’t get a fucking Thai Iced Coffee.


Okay that is wrong… doubly so while we have temps in the high 90s for a few days.


What the fuck is wrong with Starbucks? Seriously.




This is a dog bites man story – that Starfucks offers some vile new drink called coffee is unremarkable. If anybody actually wanted to drink it, that would be noteworthy.

That unicorn shit was bad enough, but now meat and “coffee?” Seriously?


I don’t know about all that but “americano” is a completely normal coffee shop menu item


I am vividly reminded of:


The Americano isn’t a starbux invention. It’s diluted espresso, and it’s good. I also do not know or care about any of the codewords and I tend to get exactly what I want. Then again, because I am a fairly simple man, what I want is usually “a medium Americano” or “double shot of espresso” or “a goddamned coffee.” All that said, the idea of putting meat in coffee is just horrendous.




I’m always exhausted after ordering at Starbucks.

My God I admire your courage. I always thought if I admitted that I would be drummed out of the Hipster Corps and made to read the National Enquirer, except then that became cool too.


So am I the only one who still just wants a small black coffee?


I’m gonna go with everything.


No… not at all.