It’s not about fighting, it’s about knowing how to fight. If you know you can defend yourself, you will look more confident and less fearful. Predators of every kind will instinctively look for easier prey. It won’t make you perfectly safe, but what will?
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This. And it applies equally to men and women.
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I’m not really sure why this is relevant or why you’re telling me this. I never disputed that physical defense training can be effective. I just said that there are situations where we might expect targets to prefer a nonviolent solution (like if the predator is known to the victim), and applauded the training for addressing coercion and non-violent measures to force acquiescence.
I’m not sure why this is a controversial viewpoint.
Edit: oh, I see. You’re saying the deterrent comes from confidence rather than specific knowledge. Plausible.
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Yup. And to wit why bullies don’t usually go for the big kid with abnormally large muscles. I’d even argue that a potential attacker is less likely to try anything with say a “Ronda Rousey” type than someone who projects weakness. The risk if your subduing tactic fails is too great. But yeah, you can’t defend against everything, and in an ideal world, people wouldn’t have to defend themselves or project “I’m a potentially dangerous target” to not be subject to abuse.
But this is far from an ideal world…
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Ladies, even if you´re untrained, try not to act intimidated and go violently for the balls in case of physical assault.
I don’t think of society as a single entity. Saying that the responsibility is on men not to rape is all very well, but as you say, we don’t live in an ideal world. The message is getting to more people that sexual assault is never OK or the victim’s fault, but this is talking about a different situation where someone is actively violating this principle. Locks, alarms, self defence classes and other things shouldn’t really be necessary, but people suck and sometimes they can be useful.
Exactly. Given that rape victims are already being failed and it’s implied that they’re partly responsible for their own rapes, it isn’t unreasonable for people to try to reduce the risk themselves. It is unreasonable to expect people to do that in order to receive sympathy or support, and those who do expect this will never be satisfied that you are the perfect victim. While I’m sure some of the consequences you mentioned could happen, not learning self defence and expecting the support of the police is not very effective either.
That doesn’t change my point. People in general should be taught about rape - those who may feel that they are entitled to sex, those who may become aware of assault taking place, those who may be at risk and so on. Whether the potential rapist is repulsed by someone asserting their boundaries verbally or physically defending themselves (or a third party coming in to help), it’s possible that this will have a longer term effect on the rapist beyond that single event.
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I really can’t understand the “don’t take self-defence classes, we should build a world without rape” views some are expressing here. Everyone agrees we want to have a world without rape - but we don’t have one yet - and we probably won’t have one for a long time. It’s a bit like saying “don’t lock your doors, we should build a world without burglary” (which is not drawing any equivalence between those two crimes btw).
Less than a month ago, just down the road from me, a woman used martial arts skills to defend herself successfully from sexual assault. Not only did she protect herself, she was so successful that the predator was caught - helping to protect other women too. Whilst we would all wish she was never attacked to begin with, she was - and she had the skills she needed to protect herself.
Add in that martial arts training can be fun, and good excersise, and it seems to me to be a good solution for an imperfect world…
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This article pretty much hands the baton over to victim-blamers: “Well, if you’d chosen to be trained in self-defence then you wouldn’t have been raped.” Teach boys and men not to rape. Stop saying women need to learn how not to get raped.
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Not at all. People who present themselves as self-assured are less likely to be victims. Learning how before it happens is good prevention. Telling someone what they should have done after the event is victim blaming.
Yes. As my parents taught me, so I teach my son. But not everyone does, so there are predators being created as we speak and I can’t do anything about that. Shall I pretend that isn’t happening and so not teach my daughter how to avoid trouble? Not bloody likely. 
They’ll both learn how to be cautious and how to defend themselves.
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No, actually. Takes too much of a wind-up, and an attacker is 1) expecting that and 2) instinctively knows to protect himself there.
Especially since there is often a strength differential, go for the small targets that will cause enough pain that the guy will let go:
- poke the eyes;
- box the ears;
- stomp on the top of the arch of the foot;
- bend back one or two fingers as hard as you can.
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I’d also mention going after the knee as well, most guys will imagine you’re winding up for their crotch and will turn their legs sideways showing you the knee. You’ll get away a lot easier if they have to hobble after you.
Also, pro tip: Guys, don’t be rapey jacknuts.
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Understanding things grants potential power to control one’s environment. If you are physically fit, Mashiro’s Black Medicine is well worth reading. If not, there’s always Colonel Colt’s “great equalizer”.
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I still don’t under stand the concept of “teach men not to rape”. I guess the idea of raping someone is so foreign to me that only someone who is a hopelessly corrupt character would engages in it. Like telling a sociopath to be empathetic to others - it won’t do any good. Maybe I am wrong. Are there so many “good people” out there that just don’t know how to be gentlemen that a class will correct it?
On the flip side, I don’t see why there is any grief given for a person wanting to learn to defend themselves. Bad things happen in the world, not just rape, but assault, robbery, etc. I’ve been in the wrong place at the wrong time and it sucked.
Also when it comes to learning physical defense, it is a great exercise, and a confidence booster. I took just basic karate, not really defense oriented, just a PE credit at JUCO, but it was fun to learn the katas and I at least know how to block and give a punch.
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That’s where you’ve got it wrong. There are sociopathic rapists, certainly, and there are men who wouldn’t be able to do it with a gun pointed at their heads (Mr. Rogers, for one), but the vast majority of rapists are on a wide spectrum of believing that they have the right to force/coerce/trick/“seduce” someone into sex under certain conditions…the conditions being set by the attacker, not the victim. These are the people to reach, as well as bystanders.
You’ve been a bystander at some point in your life, whether you realize it or not. If you learn what to watch for, then when you see it, you’ll know what to say or do to help. Isn’t that worth learning?
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The crazy thing is that it’s not a hopelessly corrupt character most of the time. 90% of rapists are known to their victims and a lot of those are opportunities. “She had too much to drink but I knew she was into it.” “They didn’t say no out loud.” “We’d had sex before, she was just asleep this time.”
A lot of them occur as a result of guys taking advantage of someone and it should be mentioned that we have to teach our guys to not rape. It’s basic, citizen-level stuff that frankly, shouldn’t have to be said, but most of them go unpunished and there are a lot of men who take advantage of that lapse in the justice system.
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Get out of my head! Jinx jinx you owe me a Coke!
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The incidence of rape changes over time and in different areas, so unless you take the view that we are somehow made of better stuff than people from other times or countries, some of us men might beat our partners, rape people or keep slaves in a different context. (Some of the women would too, but historically it’s mainly been men). It’s kind of depressing, but also encouraging in that rapists aren’t necessarily gonna rape.
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Not no, actually. But your suggestions are great additions, although that would have to be one hell of a foot stomp.
Basically, try to cause as much debilitating pain as possible, attacking the most vulnerable areas possible and then get away as soon as possible.
Probably shouldn’t pick fingers as a first target. Too small and mobile and not vital. Your opponent needs to have been distracted by something else before you can grab and break them.
@Medievalist 's recommendation of Black Medicine for learning lots of soft targets is good. If you want that distilled into just 2 or 3 days rather than formally studying a martial art, TFT covers it pretty well in a way you could apply if you had to. I’ve done one of their courses and they are well taught.
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The balance is hard to find: preparing people for bad circumstances against removing the threat as best as possible. Whilst I agree that basic combat training should be viewed as common a practice as learning to swim or ride a bike and whilst I don’t believe in the death penalty for any reason, if you absolutely have to have one, rape should invoke such a punishment.
