Stupid patent for the ages: "Changing order quantities"


#1

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Usage of the word "guys" as a generic, non-gendered colloquialism for a group of humans
#2

Christ, what patent-holes!


#3

They’re patently offensive.


#4

The name of the Examiner who approved this patent is public knowledge; it’s included in the patent itself. It would be interesting to see if this Examiner has a history of approving stupid patents, or if this is a one-off. Perhaps the Examiner’s manager could be asked about the patent, and why it was approved.

“Primary Examiner: Nguyen; Tai T”


#5

This is a time when turning green and smashing things feels like a compelling response.


#6

Careful there—Disney (parent company of Marvel) has the best Intellectual Property lawyers in the business.


#7

These stupid patent grants that constantly spring up begging to be beaten with prior art have one good side, they always put me in mind of one of the great board game premises of our time (or any time):

Two days ago you invented time travel.

You were pretty jazzed.

But the next day you learned that about a dozen other scientists had invented it before you. Or after you. It doesn’t really matter.

So now you’ve decided to do the only thing you can think of, race the other guys to the Patent Office. Not just in your time, but on the first day it opened, July 30, 1790.

History will show that whoever reached the Patent Office first deserves to be the one true inventor of time travel.

 - U.S. Patent Number One

#8

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