The Four Horsemen of Gentrification: Brine, Snark, Brunch, Whole Foods


#1

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#2

So funny, and so true.


#3

They are tearing down one of my favorite clubs in town to build more high end condos for fucking yuppies. They’re coming for my favorite record shops next, I bet. That neighborhood already has a Starbucks and American Apparel…


#4

Whole Foods is the new WalMart.


#5

Roger That!


#6


#7

Speaking of the Fourth Horseman… Isn’t that the invocation one uses to summon the @japhroaig?


#8

Obviously, we’re utterly doomed in Ann Arbor. Two whole paychecks, and Urban Outfitters is less than a block from American Apparel. Thank the FSM I don’t live in the city limits. Soooo many new high rises for aspiring yuppies. ::shudders::


#9

Bingo!


#10

Namaste. :smile:


#11

They recently closed the Starbucks near my house. I guess my 'hood is gentrifying too slowly even for sbux!


#12


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#14

Don’t forget LOFTS and huge spikes in frightened white yuppies calling the police because they spotted a black guy walking down the street.


#15

That literally happened on my neighbourhood facebook group! Someone posted a PHOTO of a young man in the alley. “Suspicious” = black. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad and terrifying.


#16

I think you misspelled Atlanta!


#17

Yeah, same here. Some folks in my old neighborhood (I got squeezed out by soaring rent) got onto the local NPU listserv and found out that they were basically all surveiling our black neighbors and frantically calling the police every day. It was pretty depressing to realize how systematically white supremacy was dismantling our neighborhood and helping to create situations where people were going to jail and getting records for no good reason. Everybody I know in Atlanta has stories like this.


#18

I had to quit that group, and I love arguing with strangers on the internet! That group was just a vipers nest of craziness! Middle aged dudes with kids calling each other to actual fights over garbage cans. Did you know people will fight you if you put bagged dog poop in their garbage cans? This is a HUGE issue, apparently. Way more important than casual racism…


#19

In Nashville’s most recent mayoral election a popular campaign message was “We don’t want to be another Atlanta.”

Sadly it may be too late. An independent coffee shop just a block away from my office has continued to do a booming business in spite of a Starbucks two blocks away in the other direction. That’s not enough to prevent the land owner from evicting them in order to tear the place down and build an apartment building that, like the surrounding apartment buildings, will probably remain empty.

The saddest part is the coffee shop also sells at least two dozen varieties of beer. Try getting THAT at Starbucks.


#20

And don’t forget permit-only parking in an urban neighborhood, because all the gentrifiers have at least one car each despite living in a major city with multiple public transportation options within a block or two.