Because of my media diet, I tend to hear Johnny Alpha sounding like Simon Pegg imitating Peter Serafinowicz.
While having lunch at a restaurant, a husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.”
“Yes,” she says, “I remember it well.”
“OK,” he says, “How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it again, for old time’s sake?”
“Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy idea, but a good one!”
A police officer sitting in the next booth hears their conversation and he thinks to himself with a chuckle, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex up against a fence! I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support and aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in…
Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for several minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he’s maybe even learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.
After lying on the ground recovering for awhile, the old couple struggle to their feet and readjust their clothes. The policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was reallysomething else! You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret you two share?”
Shaking, the old gentleman is barely able to reply, “Fifty years ago, that wasn’t an electric fence.”
