Man sits next to me on train.
MAN: Loads of psychopaths around here
ME: Really?
MAN: Loads mate
ME: How do you know?
MAN: There’s signs aren’t there?
ME: I guess?
MAN: I love them
(47 minutes of awkward silence.)
Man leaves train. With a bike. I realise he was saying ‘cycle paths’.
Ooh, reminds me of this oldie…
Two slabs of tarmac walk into a pub -
Barman: “What can I get you?”
1st Slab: “Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, please.”
Ten minutes later a slab of red tarmac strolls in.
1st slab whispers to barman “I wouldn’t serve him if I were you, mate, he’s a fuckin’ cyclepath.”
(Best of my ability to remember it - it was the 80’s)
Get out of my dreams and into my car
Took me a sec!
“I thought you said this was a naturist conference!”
“No, I said this was a naturalist conference.”
“That’s not a caterpillar!”
Phil Collins??
I don’t think that is Phil Collins, no.
There’s too many stories about watching homeless men drown.
Phil Collins talks a lot of crap.
“My generation will put it right
We’re not just making promises
That we know we’ll never keep.”
Still waiting, Phil.
Phil Collins is sus. Sus sus sudio even.
