The most vomitous $10 million mansions on Zillow

5 Likes

That’s not what I took from the earlier article. The author is a designer/architect, and knows what works and what doesn’t and - more importantly - why. I think she was just pissed that some folks do a spectacularly piss poor effort at a job she takes seriously. Good architecture can be sublime, but someone in the process needs to know what they’re doing.

Also, I think you might be guessing a little too hard - like Goldschläger or Danziger Goldwasser, some folks buy expensive shit because it’s expensive. They wouldn’t really know whether it’s good, bad or indifferent, only that some style-meister has told them they need to have at least 6,000 sq ft and a 5 car garage for their summer beach bach, or $1,000 cocktails with hunks of inert metal in them.

(PROTIP: gold is tasteless, a property which stems directly from the reason it is deemed so valuable. Putting it in a drink is pure ostentation).

6 Likes

It’s just how BORING it all is that gets me.

2 Likes

While there’s nothing wrong with poking fun at $10 million mansions, some of the taste policing one sees in articles like this, especially w/r to interiors, reminds me a little of Otho and Delia in Beetlejuice.

FWIW, white steel porch railings might have been ubiquitous in 80s construction, but it is a early-mid-century Bauhaus thing. It seems a strange target of derision for anyone but Tom Wolfe. (Disclaimer: our 80s house has steel porch railings, though they’re not white.)

2 Likes

That medieval castle would be a great choice for a LOTR fan.

2 Likes

that’s derek jeter’s place. Apparently his grandfather grew up there or something.

2 Likes

I see now. It’s not nearly as bad as his Tampa mcmansion. He actually restored this one too, so he gets bonus points. It would be perfectly fine for a Disney fan as well. He’s gotten lots of PR about the listing recently, so one would expect it won’t be on the market for long.

2 Likes

I have more sympathy for the one about bad architecture. Unless I specify “Make the outside of my house look like the USS Enterprise!” I want the architect to know what they’re doing. If they add a certain type of column or type of roof I want them to know the history of what those things are FOR and why one might add them. So even if they’re for decoration, make them look like they COULD be functional.

But once that same blog started complaining about how people decorated or arranged their furniture they lost me.

ETA: Erm… I want my architect to know what they’re doing even IF I tell them to make the house look like the Enterprise. Just in that case their job is to do what I said, not know how to make it “tasteful.”

4 Likes

Gonna be real I kind of dig that photo on the BB article actually. Just the trees and the stonework and the statue all come together pretty well IMO.

Rest of this article is awful.

1 Like

6 Likes

so lots of x-rated statues?

3 Likes

I’m guessing you’re talking about the McMansion Hell blog. She is not just aghast and dismayed because houses have too many roof lines or window styles for her taste.

She is also aghast and dismayed that so many ‘rich’ folks are being sold a load of shit.

McMansions 101 Revisited: Aesthetics Aside, Why... | McMansion Hell

5 Likes

If you must live in a fake castle, why not this? Apart from the fact you’d have to kick out Jimmy Page first obvs.

3 Likes

Or the “Guest Room” as I call it. :wink:

It is high art, okay!

3 Likes

Indeed. Plus there are a lot of faux castles up that way in New York, as I understand. It’s a little odd but not out of place.

1 Like

Is there an urn, a figleaf, or even a very tiny piece of gauze?

If not, it’s dubious…

2 Likes

Reminds me of this:

Not surpringly (and reflected in the interior decor, used as-is as a location for the movie “The Jerk”), this sheik had a 12-year-old boy’s impression of what constituted “adult” tastes and sensibilities. To be clear, the painted statues weren’t an attempt at historical accuracy, although I will give him credit for gleefully driving trollies his neighbours. If a homeowner understands and accepts that his pile is a gaudy and tasteless eyesore it’s something of a saving grace in my view.

5 Likes

I don’t need a $10 million mansion! Just this paddle game.

1 Like

Oh and the ashtray. Just this ashtray and the paddle game. That’s all.

1 Like