Behold the ultimate McMansion

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2024/02/12/behold-the-ultimate-mcmansion.html

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You can see the full set of pics here…

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/354-County-Road-211_Bremen_AL_35033_M73227-14078?from=srp-list-card

That house is totally fucking unhinged!

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The house and its contents either need to be burned to the ground (which then needs to be thoroughly salted) or preserved as a monument and museum dedicated to late-stage American capitalism. There are no other appropriate choices.

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I would 100% live in this weird house.

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Nuke it from orbit?

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It’s as gaudy as anything, but does this actually qualify as a McMansion? Clearly a lot of thought went into designing this house, which doesn’t seem to be the case for houses that are typically referred to as McMansions.

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In that show Babylon 5 there was an alien ambassador who gave the Winchester Mansion as an example demonstrating the insanity of the human race. This home would proudly occupy the same status in American architectural heritage.

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Just consider the windows alone to find the answer. All of them. Every single type, and location.

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Attach boosters and raise it to orbit!

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From the article:

And yet our McMansion Heaven is still a McMansion. It is still an accumulation of deliberate signifiers of wealth, very much a construction with the secondary purpose of invoking envy, a palatial residence designed without much cohesion. The presence of golf, of wood, of masculine and patriarchal symbolism with an undercurrent of luxury drives that point home.

And, as @chgoliz points out, the windows.

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Well, Starship is still looking for stuff to launch to make it economically cromulent.

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I agree that, while this house is bizarre, and is filled with signifiers of wealth, this is not a McMansion.

The “Mc” in “McMansion” is not accidental, it’s referring to “McDonalds,” a cookie-cutter approach where everything is the same and familiar whether you are in Portland Oregon or Boise Indiana.

When I think McMansions I think of the same-looking huge sprawling houses that are actually quite cheaply built (by the square foot). They are signifiers of wealth but of no particular taste or care, beyond size.

This house is positively Bohemian in comparison. Bizarre, yes, but that’s what makes it not a McMansion.

From Wikipedia:

An example of a McWord, “McMansion” associates the generic quality of these luxury houses with that of mass-produced fast food by evoking McDonald’s, an American restaurant chain

From the article:

And yet our McMansion Heaven is still a McMansion. It is still an accumulation of deliberate signifiers of wealth, very much a construction with the secondary purpose of invoking envy, a palatial residence designed without much cohesion.

The first part of the statement (up to “without much cohesion”) is true of mansions, as well as palaces, castles, expensive New York apartments, etc.

The last part, “without much cohesion,” I disagree is a marker of a McMansion, in fact, quite the opposite. Image searching “McMansion” they almost always have a bland, unified look:

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Where does one find a contractor to work on such a home?

I mean there’s specialized and then there’s specialized.

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Is it wrong that I kind of love it? Take out the furniture, etc and I could make it work.

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Designer: Ok, sir, let’s talk about the house you want to have built.

Owner: Ok, this is easy. Imagine if Donald Trump and Bruce Wayne were the same person. I want that person’s house.

Designer:…blink…

Owner: I’ll pay you 2 million dollars just for the design.

Designer: Ok, sir, I’ll have the plans to you in the morning.

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I think a lot of McMansions have had a lot of thought put into their design, but it wasn’t “good” thought. It was “how can I jam this thing I like into the design somewhere” rather than “is this an appropriate feature for this architectural style”.

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Holy shit! I actually gasped (seriously, I’m not making that up) when I saw the second photograph. Just… wow.

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I know, everything is white!

A bit of colour that isn’t greige and it would be awesome…

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I call the style “haute Home Depot”.

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I could gladly wake up to that view as long as I didn’t have to look over my shoulder.

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