McMansion Hell's tour through Texas's Most Terrible fake castles

#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/06/28/yall-got-a-ugly-house.html

12 Likes
#2

I love her, and I adore her Patreon reward tier with “Good House of the Week” because it’s such a great palette cleanser.

20 Likes
#3

This is proof positive that people with too much money are suckers for any gobbledigook shit that can be made / sold.

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#4

Kate is always an Good Content.

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#5

I am certain that every single one of these houses costs less than a house 1/4 of the size in Vancouver.

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#6

I moved to Texas with the company 20 years ago. Two of my comrads bought a McMasion, because they could afford them after selling their California homes. The problem is these babies have 4 big AC units and electric bills soar to $1000+ a month to keep the Texas heat out.

15 Likes
#7

In 20 years at the outside most of these excrescences-with-excrescences will be foreclosed upon twice, subdivided, and exist as decaying slum housing for the unnecessariat of Texas (it’s not like there are any jobs out in those exurbs). The slumlords will consider the unrelenting ugliness of these structures just desserts for their “undeserving” tenants.

4 Likes
#8

On the one hand, these are some kinda ugly houses. On the other hand, I am having trouble mustering genuine outrage about kinda ugly houses or uninspired state license plates or inauthentic fast casual dining or whatever, shit, I’m just so tired right now.

11 Likes
#9

While it sucks living somewhere where you don’t have enough space for you and your stuff/hobbies/etc, having a huge house isn’t great either. Home buying shows are a guilty pleasure of mine and whenever I see like a family of four buying a 3500+ sq foot house with like 5 bedrooms, finished basement, 4 bathrooms, 3 car garage, pool, etc first thing that comes to mind is holy shit who’s going to clean all that, and the utility bills must be insane!

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#10

More money than brains, certainly.

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#11

Money does not imbue intelligence, in the least.

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#12

The only castles I have any interest in are White Castles.

A dozen sliders please, with extra pickles!

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#13

Who was it that said ‘writing about music is like dancing about architecture’? (Well, Elvis Costello, famously, but it seems he may have stolen it, and nobody really knows.)
Anyway, we have some really shit choreographers, here - not even good enough to qualify as ‘dad dancing’.

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#14

They say adding an expansion nub is the quickest way to increase the overall height of your home.

But I’ll always be a pringle can man.

4 Likes
#15

Depending on circumstances, a 1:1 bathroom:bedroom ratio is actually pretty nice to have. everyone gets their own ‘solitude room’ to make organic deposits and ponder the meaning of life, the universe, and the reasoning behind eating those ten extra-hot chili hot dogs in one sitting…

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#16

McMansion Hell’s annotations make me think of eating a meal consisting of three or four of every item on the Dollar Menu.

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#17

Here in Bloomington,IL this is State Farm country. Due to the movement of upper management employees in and out of the area. Many of these execs move from higher median income areas and back.They needed their own McMansions and neighborhoods to match. These houses are just like all the other houses around being stick built with manmade siding. They have more bedrooms, larger and higher ceilinged great rooms and more square feet of marble counters than you need to land a plane. They are no better made than houses at half the price but the price is key so no huge jumps in housing prices the next time you are transferred. In other words these houses are more place holders representing wealth than actual true worth. It’s a scam!

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#18

I watch those shows, too. Many people make comments related to space that always puzzle me, though. Like why couples have to have a huge bathroom so they can get ready at the same time in the morning. After growing up in a house with one bathroom, that’s a foreign concept to me. The other one is people who have to have a lot large enough that they cannot see any neighbors. I’ve had two relatives fall in the yard over the years, and it was neighbors who helped them. If a homeowner falls in the forest and there’s no one to see it, I hope they’re able to help themselves!

6 Likes
#19

“Texas’s”? wtf?

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#20

I know, right? I mean FFS that’s so much you need to clean and maintain. And the whole “I need a huge bathroom - it’s my oasis!” and I’m all like what the fuck? What are these people doing in the bathroom that they need some sort of huge palatial space to shower and use the toilet?

5 Likes