The surgeon who removed his own appendix

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/01/22/the-surgeon-who-removed-his-ow.html

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Today he’d be assisted by a billing agent and somebody from the front desk. He’d likely wouldn’t have his health insurance card on him. Then he’d have to see if he was in network, then decide if he was out of network, if he could afford the operation.

“The Internet was down due to sunspots, so the billing agent told me I couldn’t start till I was approved. In pain, I kept asking if I was approved but the person at the front desk just put me on hold. It all worked out though. I did the operation anyway, and it turned out I was out of network . At first I thought it was going to take years to pay off, but then again, you should see what I billed myself!”

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Vincent : Are you sure you can do this?

Sam : [Preparing to perform surgery on himself] Yeah. I once removed a guy’s appendix with a grapefruit spoon.

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I’m not applauding.

Having gone through appendicitis 3 times before it was correctly diagnosed (4th and correct diagnosis after a 3-day wait), I have to hand it to him. It takes guts to perform your own surgery.

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See also Dr. Jerri Nielson, who biopsied then treated (with chemotherapy) her own breast cancer while wintering over at the South Pole.

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How’s the malpractice suit going?

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It takes surgery to fix your own guts.

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“General weakness became severe after 30 to 40 minutes, and vertigo developed, so that short pauses for rest were necessary.”

Passive verbs make it more scientific!

EDIT: Oops, not that. What’s the word I’m looking for? Projection?

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In my household I’m a celebrated bathroom surgeon. I once removed a plantar’s wart on my right foot using isopropyl alcohol and whatever tools I could find in the bathroom drawer.

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I once removed a broken-off pencil point from fairly deep in the bottom of my foot. Removing your own appendix can’t be THAT MUCH worse than our respective ordeals. Especially for a real doctor.

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“Then it turned out that I only got paid 10% of what I paid for the procedure, and I should have, in retrospect, just paid myself under the table.”

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Passive voice.

Am guessing that this is why it is required to have had your appendix removed before visiting lovely Antarctica these days.

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Not sure what I’d choose if faced with an American medical bill for an appendectomy or if I was qualified, self-performing the procedure. That’s genuinely fucked up!

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All I can think is holy shit that guy is stoic.

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I get very little respect from the women in my family who have given birth when I talk about the pain endured pulling out one’s nose hairs.

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NOPE

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