Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/05/30/the-95-list.html
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The list, call the "95 list"
I’m on the 96 list, oh yeah…
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TSA. Think “cops” but without just as extensive training.
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The Trained Sexual Assaulters, where you go when you fail the mall cop exam.
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Several years ago at LAX I got on a line clearly marked for luggage check-in queue-up. Very early in the morning and I was the first one there. After some minutes a pretty good line had formed up behind me. From that time to the time I first showed up, a gathering of TSA personnel had stood off just to the side chit-chatting, watching the line build up. Since I was there the longest (and getting more curious by the moment), I asked the TSA group when the counter would open up. Response: “No. This line is closed. You have to go over there” pointing way off into the distance. They just… didn’t… give a fuck.
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Third try’s the charm on the real brain-teaser “what is your name?”
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TSA was supposed to do away with the more revealing scanners ~5 years ago. The images are supposed to look more like the one on the right (I hope):
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Hmm, that explains the lack of angry looks from the agents last time I gave the naked-o-tron the bird (a rare occurrence now that pre-check’s a thing.)
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Beauteous!
Pre-screening is even better (and worth the $80/year [?]). I get it free through my job. So luxurious!
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It never occurred to you that maybe your balls needed to be punched, for the safety of the nation? I would only regret that you couldn’t have made an even greater sacrifice for the American people.
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I had a terrifying experience with a TSA big-wig at their branch office in San Antonio and left feeling certain that my name would wind up on various watch lists.
The kind of people who aspire to leadership positions at the TSA must be generally crummy human beings: she assured me she’d pull strings and not only get me fired from my not-TSA job, but from my entire industry. I’ll spare everyone the story lest she realize I’ve publicly complained and say that my bosses vouched for me and that the TSA officials revel in the mostly true reality that they run an unaccountable fiefdom.
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The publicly visible ones are.
But presumably the cardboard cutout versions are generated from the pron-o-tron ones, which are still generated (and stored) somewhere.
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Tell us the story! Just claim you’re the guy/girl that never refills the coffee maker after use, and it’ll be double justice.
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I thought I was the only rebel that did this. Sad that I’m not original, happy that I have comrades in the fight!
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I want to say I heard got the idea from Adam Savage (of Mythbusters)’s podcast. I’m not certain, but it was never original in my case.
If only they had some kind of camera surveillance equipment recording video evidence!
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Since this screening started I’ve always refused to go through the new devices, opting out when directed to them instead of the old-fashioned metal detectors. This trip (last 2 weeks) I was just so tired of the patdowns that I decided to agree to the scanning. Somehow I still ended up 3 for 3 for being called over after the scanning and given a manual search. Since I don’t tick any obvious boxes - I’m an older conservatively-dressed Jewish guy - I assume I’m on a list somewhere. Maybe from my 1970s SDS membership?
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