Theses distilled to one (snarky) sentence

boing
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This may not be pretty, but it held your attention for more than 1.7 seconds, so there is that.

MFA UCLA 1988

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News media choose to share certain types of political information selectively based on their own agenda. MA PolSci Carleton

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Basically I canā€™t read newspapers anymore because they piss me off.

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People who are afraid of pain donā€™t recover from shoulder injuries as well as people who arenā€™t afraid of pain. Duh.

Physical Therapy. University of Florida.

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(secret)

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I immediately sent this to the only person I know with a Phd.

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Children have a fundamental possessory interest in their dead mothersā€™ brains. J.D., William & Mary Law

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Could be terminal MAs. Some programs make MAs write a thesis (or give them the option).

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Iā€™m not that familiar with academic abbreviations on your side of the pond so at first I thought you were talking about some immunodeficiency disease or something like that. Terminal MAs - waaait a minuteā€¦ Dā€™oh!

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Some programs make BSā€™s write a thesis even though it isnā€™t a terminal degree.

(I was told after the fact that my thesis was good enough that if Iā€™d wanted to I could have stayed on campus for another year and called it an MS thesis. Ah, 20:20 hindsightā€¦)

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We built a mathematical model of a pathogen organism that slurps sugar in a weird way, we improved the existing model and we think we have a better reason why we believe the parasites slurp sugar in a weird way.

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Yes - that old imposter ā€œeleganceā€. Famously hideous when you take its mask off.

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I probably shouldnā€™t have said terminal, because some people write a thesis, even when they go on to a phdā€¦ in fact it makes more sense to write a thesis if you are going onto a phd, for recycling purposes.

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34

Fuck the white neoliberal hegemony.
-1st year Social Work, Ryerson University

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Hey this is funā€¦

My PhD boils down to; ā€œCardboard is weird but its okay we can model it mathematically.ā€

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The more style, structure and artifice a writer uses in his memoirs - i.e. the further they get away from historical truth - the more convincing they will be to humankind, that cannot stand too much reality.

Probable Fictions, MA thesis, Free University Amsterdam, 1989

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I did one of those.
3 years of informatics, half year thesis = Bachelor degree.
2 more years, with about a quarter of the time on another thesis = Master degree.
Itā€™s possible to do a PhD on top of that, but Iā€™ve got other things to do at the momentā€¦

Itā€™s also possible to do a 5-year integrated master degree with one thesis at the end; itā€™s up to the university/community college what they prefer. I did the Bsc at a community college and the master addon at a university; the same university sees bachelor degrees as uninteresting stepping stones to a masterā€™s, with no thesis requirement.

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