It is ok to actually have read about the subject you are discussing. This is considered offensive in many parts of the US, especially Congress or the media, though.
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Oh sure. Agreed. But if you happen to mention Marx or poststructuralism in said conversation, well, then youāre a socialist snob, even if you are on the mark. 
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Gee, so much about myself and my situation that I must now conceal: Married for 43 years and still besotted; to a writer who is working on a novel (and Iām working on a book); who, like me, much prefers dark chocolate (though neither of us will turn down milk); and (unlike me) makes some exercise sessions a priority, even if itās yoga. We both had transformative European travel/living experiences and sometimes refer to them in conversation, but didnāt attend Harvard or any other high-profile schoolsāthough we are both unashamed of our doctorates, which I suppose approaches tool-dom. On the other hand, we watch a lot of TV, have never tweeted or texted (and hardly ever turn on our cell phones), and I have trouble getting her to go to open mikes these days. (I understandāsheās suffered enough for love.) We read a lot of stuff and talk about it to each other and with our friends. (And they talk back. Is conversation toolish?)
On the other hand, why should we give a shit about what some kid thinks is cool or uncool? Eventually weāll be dead and some upstart will be making fun of him.
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I donāt know about anybody else, but Iād much rather somebody, unprompted, bring up Foucault or Marx in a conversation than Honey Boo-Boo or āDuck Dynastyā.
Wait, did I just become a tool?
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There really are few things more exhausting than the person who has just returned from a first trip abroad.
'My grandmother is in the hospital"
āOH! There was a hospital in Thailand, right next to the awesome beach party I was at when a flaky dude tried to steal my wallet!ā Yada yada shutupshutupshutup
It was only after I witnessed someone else doing it that I realized what a doofus I had been on returning from my first ābig adventureā. It is amazing my friends were able to tolerate me.
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Ken Jennings wrote on twitter:
If youāre a vegan who ran a marathon & got your dogs from a shelter,
how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?
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Welcome to the club? 
Groucho or Harpo?
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Iām trying to imagine all the awesome parties this guy goes to where no one has read anything, gone anywhere or has any opinions on music.
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Yes there is: people who tell you about their dreams. Believe me, Iād MUCH rather hear about your holiday.
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Indeed. Someone telling me about their dream is a trigger for me to tune out until they finish.
Maybe we could invert the list for perfect toollessness?
- Miley still totally rocks.
- I got my GED.
- I love reality TV.
- Iām working on a kidney stoneā¦
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you are either a tool, or you are boring. choose wisely.
EDIT: I meant āone is either a tool, or one is boring. choose wisely.ā totally not directed at you, @Boundegar
Iām gonna play, too:
- Actually, I like Bon Scott-era AC/DC and Brian Johnson-era AC/DC just about the same.
- I went to Grossmont College. You probably havenāt heard of it. (Waitā¦ that doesnāt work as well this time)
- I own three or four TVs, but only one of them is a 16x9 flatscreen. And thatās the only one that gets turned on anymore. (I work in TV post production. Asking me to watch TV after work is kinda like asking the mailman if he wants to go for a walk.)
- Novels are too ambitious for me. Plus, I live in L.A. So Iām working on a screenplay. ;^)
- I like milk chocolate, semisweet chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate. I donāt like carob. Nor mocha. In fact I donāt like coffee flavored anything.
- āWhen I was in Europeā¦ I was a total f*cking tourist and had a ball.ā I have no insights to offer beyond that.
- I will not tweet. Ever.
- Like Rob, Iām occasionally guilty of mentioning interesting articles Iāve read. Even in print.
- I wonāt do yoga either.
- Soulmates. Yeah, right. Like I have a soul.
- Well, to be fair, L.A. radio has sucked hard for a decade or more. If KNAC were still on the air, Iād listen to the radio. As it is, itās NPR or my iPod. Radiowise, I wish I lived in Phoenix.
- Iāll read ebooks and print books equally happily. Iām currently reading A Storm of Swords on both. Paper in the daylight, Kindle reader on my Android in bed at night (so my bedside lamp doesnāt disturb my wifeās sleep).
- Iāll cleanse by stern prescription only, thank you very much. Havenāt had occasion to hose out my colon yet, have no plans to.
- I used to have to shop at thrift stores; thatās where my mom used to get my back-to-school clothes. I havenāt felt the urge to specifically shop in a thrift store in ages, though itās not like Iām philosophically opposed to it.
- Iām much more likely to blow off going to the gym for anything else. I went to the gym today for the first time in a week simply because I couldnāt think of an excuse not to.
- DJing? Heh. Nobody wants to hear my tunes.
- Iām still not drinking. I canāt stand the taste of alcohol.
- I donāt regularly go to Starbucks because I hate coffee. But if I feel like a hot chocolate, thereās a Starbucks here on the studio lot, so I go there maybe six times a year.
- I work in old media. I donāt even play on social media.
Hmm. My toolitude is lower than I thought. Guess I should open a Twitter account.
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Good on ya!
Leo!
What about sexy dreams?
The list seems incomplete without
āIām not sure that was intended to be racist.ā (or sexist)
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What ever not being a tool is I am not particularly interested. Life long commitment to that, too. This is how mediocre people pull you into the morass of sameness that passes for required cool.
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amen brother. my inclination is actually to be diplomatic if not accommodating by default, but experience has taught me that you actually need to piss off at least some of the people some of the time. sometimes they deserve it, and sometimes you deserve it.
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