Think you're entitled to compensation after being wrongfully imprisoned in California? Nope

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I’m surprised a dumb and vindictive politician hasn’t proposed having the state sue exonerees for fraud for falsely posing as guilty criminals.

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“You can judge a society by how well it treats its prisoners”

  • Dostoyevsky
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Right? All those years of free room and board!

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Seems like a definite case of theft of service to me.

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That should disqualify them from getting temporary aid because they’ve already been on the government dole for years!

And they should be criminally charged for interfering with a criminal investigation since they diverted important police resources that could have been spent finding the real perpetrator of the original crime!

And don’t forget the assault charges for when they resisted arrest with their face against police officer fists and flashlights.

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OMG you guys, STOP! Someone really stupid in a position of power might get ideas.

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I’m pretty sure there’s a private prison industry think tank out there that has already thought of worse and presented it to receptive politicians during their mutual attendance of some fancy resort “conference.”

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No doubt, sadly.

Why do people who have been exonerated need to

???

And here I thought people were innocent until the state managed to prove that they are guilty. Silly me.

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You missed the fine print. The innocent-until-proven-guilty feature is only available in the Premium Freedom Package® from the United Murica Corporation. The free package is ad-ware and private prison-funded.

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Mmm, yeah, 'cause that’s never happened before… [/snark]

Surely the federal government could create minimum standards for the nation that even the sickest and craziest states must meet

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Does Congress have the political will? Private prisons are handing out a lot of cash and prizes to lawmakers to keep this kind of thing from happening.

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*in a hypothetical just world

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We have resorted to that on occasion. In the most notorious incident the federal government incurred over half a million casualties in the process. Thankfully other cases have gone somewhat less badly.

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