Duct tape.
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I suppose a Dremel would be considered Mission Impossible?
I can’t go for that.
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ICWYDT! 
Rectum:
“CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT BALL”
“LIGHT BULB”
His days of asking are all gone,
His fight goes on and on and on,
But he thinks that the fight is worth it all,
So he strikes like Thunderball
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Is this a plug for a new spy movie?
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Duct tape has trouble sticking to damp and wet surfaces. Also, at 37/98.6 body temp it might cause the adhesive to release, leaving you with tools and tape stuck in your heinie. Not to mention, it has that internal structure that gives it strength which would translate to being a bit umm… rough.
Maybe some electrical heatshrink over the thing would provide compression to hold it together, but a smooth surface for “installation”
The technical data sheets of all manufacturers of duct tape stipulate the need for surface preparations along the lines of
All surfaces must be clean, dry and free of dust, grease and other loose material. Adhesion tests prior to application are recommended.
In other words, you tape the container while it’s still clean and dry.
The technical data sheets also typically give an application temperature
of up to or around +50°C; which is well above a human’s core temperature.
So the glue won’t get soft at the temperatures which are to be expected in the use case discussed.
As to the surface structure of the tape: in this particular case I would consider it to be a useful feature as it would help to keep the container in place.
Yes, but it will be neither dry nor free of grease after spending any appreciable time inserted into the distal end of the human alimentary canal. I would also point out that duct tape frequently softens and releases at ambient temperatures roughly equivalent to human core body temperature in the summertime heat. Further, peristalsis would be constantly working the surface of the duct tape. “Grip” isn’t a beneficial feature for something that is going to constantly have to be reinserted and adjusted. Were that the case, 80 grit sandpaper would be nearly ideal, with the exception of the bleeding it would induce in the sensitive lining of the intestine.
Also, this is by far quite the oddest product packaging requirements discussion that I have ever participated in…
And that’s why you’d want to use the tape before inserting the container.
Applying the tape in situ would be rather inconvenient.
There might be room. After all, our hypothetical spy is apparently well-used to storing things there. 
But my point was that duct tape is only water resistant. Not waterproof, even if it IS shiny. Placing it in an environment that is close to 40C constantly and is completely m0ist (even before you consider the considerable amount of lube to insert the thing) is not conducive to having the tape adhere for any length of time. At the very least, fluid is going to migrate under the edges of the tape.
Edit: apparently m0ist is a bad word here…
Confused expressions all around as an agent says, “Let me pick that lock for you” then proceeds to grunt.
One good fart might just knock a door down. 
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Not the point.
The tape’s function is to prevent the container from opening. Because there are sharp and pointy things in it.
But both the container and its contents are waterproof/waterresistant.
If if you’d want to use to container to carry anything beside the toolkit, there is always the option of waterproofing those items separately, like, for example, putting them in a condom.
Come to think about it, stuffing something else in the container to prevent the toolkit from making unwanted clinking sounds would probably a good idea.
From the rush of innocent bystanders fleeing en masse from the room, if nothing else!
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Many years ago (when I was so young and life was (seemed?) beautiful!), my dad attended an internal med conference where one presentation showed x-ray slides of foreign objects jammed up peoples’ butts. He just had to tell us. One item was a tool box. A huge Snap-On tool box came to my mind (as with yours right now?), but life isn’t a Ren & Stimpy cartoon, so the object must have been one of those small elongated affairs you sometimes see at the hardware store checkout. Still…
The point is that the tape won’t necessarily keep the container together in that “environment”
Will too.
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