Fantastic, perfect blend of Japanese cray cray and American advertising aesthetics.
…what if we use more power?
I’m thinkin rail gun that shoots them through some magnetically contained plasma?
Not to be a giant nerd or anything, but I’m sure that this would not actually work. The milk and breading coating part could work, but the fire part is where it looses me. Air, even in plasma form, has a low heat capacity and low conductivity. That burst of propane flame effect wouldn’t be enough to light a piece of paper on fire, let alone fry an entire shrimp (which takes a lot of energy due to the water content).
Source: Play with flame effects a lot. Also, am Internet Expert.
Yeah, it is pretty obvious it wouldn’t work as is.
But what if we used more power?
Shoot the shrimp through a bed of molten NaCl?
Calculate the resonate frequency of the shrimp and fire precisely tuned lasers at them, ala fusion?
Gamma ray burst.
Surely a tightly contained supernova would do they job. Spatiotemporal-metric expansion/contraction effects produced by closely entrained orbiting micro black holes? Actually that last one might give you the extra time you need to get the job done.
Spare time job for the LHC?
A small, tactical neutron bomb should do the trick.
You can also denature, ie cook, proteins in strong acids (a la ceviche). So set up a series of nozzles that mists the shrimp with Fluoroantimonic acid.
You know the air resistance itself during the acceleration to 98% of C would probably cook them nicely.
An actually feasible ( 
) method might be to use sonoluminescence techniques to create an acoustic cavitation bubble. Theoretical temperatures inside the bubble get up into the millions of kelvin, that should be enough, yeah?
(First ever physics experiment I witnessed in a proper physics department was one of the early attempts to reproduce the blue-light flash from the collapse of the bubble but I’m pretty sure the temperatures involved were slightly lower.)
I like the idea of molten NaCl, much higher heat capacity. Superheated steam might work too. But I think in both cases you need a little more time in the heat in order for the heat to diffuse through the shrimp, but before the outer part is burned.
Maybe if instead of shooting it in a straight line, aim it up like an artillery, and put the heat source at the apex so it has a little “hang time”.
Yeah, that is exactly why I thought of it. Plus it would add seasoning to the skrimps (they may get bruised during the trip though)
Cheating!
I see what you did, there…
Why are you wasting your time on problems like then, when you could be solving real problems, like comment-trolling in posts about statues?
“I don’t always troll, but when I do, I use sound logic and monty python image macros.”
Relevant “What If?” about cooking steaks with compressive heating from reentry. https://what-if.xkcd.com/28/
Reminds me of the annual tradition of one of my college physics professors, which is to teach people about conservation of energy by attempting to cook a raw turkey by carrying it up to the top of a 5 story building on campus, throwing it off, and letting the kinetic->thermal reaction on impact heat the turkey. Someone waits at the bottom with a thermometer, and we just keep running up and throwing it off over and over again until it is cooked. Of course it never actually gets cooked, but it is a good way to start a discussion about heat transfer.
What if we shot them through a true vacuum?
that’s why you need the rail gun!!
Terminal velocity ain’t gonna cut it, bub. We need magnets and lasers and compressors and a note from my mother.
