TSA trained Disney World's plainclothes in its voodoo "terrorism detection" methods


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2015/04/17/tsa-trained-disney-worlds-pl.html


#2

TSA has trained security teams from Disney World to use the same checklist of behavior indicators, which includes “wearing a disguise,” “whistling,” “exaggerated yawning” and “excessive laughter,” according to interviews and documents obtained by The Intercept.

Good, because the Seven Dwarves fit all the SPOT criteria for terrorists!

Exaggerated yawning: Sleepy
Excessive complaints: Grumpy
Widely open staring eyes: All seven dwarves
Whistling: All seven dwarves (Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho, It’s Off To Work We Go performance)
Gazing down: Bashful
Exaggerated grooming gestures: Sneezy
Face pale from recent shaving of beard: Dopey
Rubbing hands: Doc


#3

So if Disney and whoever else got trained in this, does that mean they paid for it? Which would mean we (as taxpayers who payed for this mess in the first place) actually recovered some of the money spent?
Or did we just give that training away?


#4

“People … who fear discovery” are not going to complain excessively about security measures. If you are targeting grumblers, you don’t get to claim grumblers are more likely to be terrorists.

(And if grumblers go postal as a result of your inane security theater, you don’t then get to claim that the system is doing its job.)


#5

These things do one thing only: When they see someone acting excessively brown or middle eastern. They can pull them aside claiming it was behavior and not ethnicity.


#6

Nothing really relevant to post. But had to say you gave me some serious dejavu with that picture of the old Milton Bradley ESP game. My parents had that and we used to play around with it all the time back in the late 70’s. The pendulum thing was the best.


#7

How many times has Disneyland been blown up? Hmmm? Seems to me like it’s working just fine.


#8
  • Standing still in a line whilst not being completely immobile.
  • Reaching for pockets.
  • Ambulatory micro-gestures.
  • Facial expressions.
  • Human shape.
  • General existence.
  • Racially idiomatic presentation.
  • Gender-specific nomenclature.
  • Organisational facility.
  • Calm demeanour.
  • Answering questions with aplomb.
  • Answering back.
  • Answering.
  • Gerund of any verb.

#9

Looking for people in “improper attire” at a tourist attraction (or any public place, really)? Let me know how that goes!


#10

Be on the lookout for ‘shifty-eyed’ creeps, NO, NO, not the security team other shifty-eyed’ creeps!


#11

No. It’s because of the snipe repellant.


#12

Funny, because I just shaved my beard today. It’s getting hot out. Like Florida level hot.

And having widely open staring eyes? At an amusement park?
Exaggerated yawning? Couldn’t see THAT happening after traveling with kids and then being forced onto Small World…again.
Just so much dumb in one place.


#13

As much as I hate TSA and Disney, what does any of this have to do with voodoo? I rather like voodoo.


#14

Improper attire indeed. Disney World has ducks, three pigs, and a honey-addicted British bear wearing tops without pants, to say nothing of the giant mice in formalwear!


#15

You do?


#16

Who do?


#17

Too true. I do. A vindaloo boogaloo.


#18

Poor Jiminy Cricket doesn’t stand a chance under the new regime.


(Give a little whistle)


#19

Do what?


Awesome Song Thread!
#20

You remind me of the babe.