A termite walks up to a bar and says, “excuse me, where’s the bartender?”
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A swarm of insects stole all the birdseed as a protest. They were Milletants.
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I had a terrible sleep. I lay awake all night wondering where the sun had gone. Then it dawned on me…
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Dad buying fake Christmas tree.
Cashier: ‘Are you going to put it up yourself?’
Dad: ‘Don’t be disgusting… I’m going to put it up in the living room.’
Happy New Year
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A nun, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender say, “what is this, some kind of a joke?”
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“Have you seen the dog bowl?”
“No, didn’t even know it could”
(Alt.: “Yep, threw a strike”)
(Literally, from my dad)
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