U.S. government has online dad joke archive

A termite walks up to a bar and says, “excuse me, where’s the bartender?”

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A swarm of insects stole all the birdseed as a protest. They were Milletants.

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I had a terrible sleep. I lay awake all night wondering where the sun had gone. Then it dawned on me…

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:grin:
Dad buying fake Christmas tree.

Cashier: ‘Are you going to put it up yourself?’

Dad: ‘Don’t be disgusting… I’m going to put it up in the living room.’


Happy New Year

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NewYearJokes-new1

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A nun, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender say, “what is this, some kind of a joke?”

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“Have you seen the dog bowl?”

“No, didn’t even know it could”
(Alt.: “Yep, threw a strike”)

(Literally, from my dad)

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