Masters Class in Dad Jokes

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/01/04/groaners-vs-humanity.html

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When I can make my son or one of his friends groan, I know I’ve done my job as a Dad! It’s the best part of being a Dad. It’s kinda like psychological abuse as payback for changing diapers and being barfed on over the years.

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You lost me at bagdad.

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They say I have a “dad bod,” but I think if it more as a “father figure.”

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[Insert well earned “ugh”]

Appears the BBS will provide a “master class” without anyone needing to watch any videos.

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Why couldn’t Indiana Jones keep the Lost Ark of the Covenant?

He couldn’t afFord it!

Just made that up.

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random-dad-jokes-dad-imessage-today-20-34-sometimes-i-squat-31569316

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My Son warns all that as the Whiskey consumption goes higher the jokes go lower.
My fav is, especially to hungover youngsters: Today is the first day of the rest of your life!
And I know, it ain’t funny, that’s why it’s funny.

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Are you consuming now?

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Check back at 4 PM…

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But first, a word from your sponsor?

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“Knock knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“This is the police!”
“This is the police who?”
“Open up or we’ll break it down!”

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I know a great knock-knock joke, but you have to start.

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Best joke ever

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Okay, I’ll bite.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

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A man goes to see his doctor.

The doctor gives him a thorough physical and says, “Well sir, you seem to be in the pink of health except for that steering wheel that’s sticking out of your groin.”

The man says, “That’s just it doc, you’ve got to help me; the thing’s drivin’ me nuts.”

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I know this joke but it’s a sea captain in a bar with a ship’s steering wheel.

“Yarr, it drives me nuts.”

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I think your version makes more sense than mine. It’s still awful though.

Disclaimer - In this instance, the possessives “your” and “mine” refer only to the versions of the joke documented in this thread and are not intended to imply any sort of responsibility for, or ownership of said “humor”. I refuse to take any credit for that joke. I’m just hoping that having passed it along, I will be able to forget it now.

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