UOregon police kept a "Eat a Bowl of Dicks List" for their enemies


Release of frenemies list still pending…

Idle hands…

Acrobat made the list but not Flash? Anyway if they’re still adding to it it’d be cool if they added Lotus Notes (“Shoot on sight”) and Novell Netware.

1 Like

This is why I keep my list entirely in my head, in verse, and recite it every night aloud in order to fix it in my memory: Of dicks I sing, and the men and women / Whom I invite thereon to dine with sauce / Of cheese and minced tomatoes, in a bowl . . .


I love that The inventor of the turtleneck and the Sweater Vest were clearly added in a one-two punch against torso-based non-tactical outerwear.

1 Like

I’ve know some U of O security officers long term. Don’t want to say how. Mostly nice people. They can be pretty nosy and maybe try too hard sometimes and get bored other times.

I see the list as stress relief, a frustrated humor thing that a bunch who sometimes feels pretty embattled and without voice does for shits & giggles on a slow night. I haven’t liked all who I have met, but I have never met one I thought vindictive. A point that stands out for me as I noticed how miserable their job seems.

I have done too many jobs where the public is engaged or served and is often nasty or disrespectful. The staff on the ground always has a list of some sort of another, usually just conversational. However everyone IDs and remembers those certain types and individuals discussed or keeps discussing them till such time as.

Only the lone idiot who everyone has to tow the line for lets the list effect his/her main approach when face to face with person(s) X. Most actually give person(s) X extra attention until it is abundantly clear they must be relegated to the respectful-service-but-never-an-extra category.

The UofO police is a security agency in transition, trying to become a real police force. The “officers” on the street, have in the past been from a different era of training. They have been fairly powerless, domestic security guards up against a student population that mostly disrespects them, and the criminals who operate around campus, and the U of O hierarchy that employs them.

I don’t blame those students who disliking them. I don’t like the idea of a campus police force either.

Then again, I a have twice seen first hand what happens every time somebody’s precious child who could “do no wrong” gets hurt. Outrage and lawyers until it is clear the student did too good a job of hurting him/herself for anyone to stop it. Also, the campus can be very problem-problematic with the student drinking trends. So much so that a delegation including the Mayor of Eugene, Police Chief, Fire Chief, U of O president and Deans, Neighborhood reps and others, go door to door on the first week of Autumn term asking students to be responsible to their neighbors and the law.

Of course there are plenty of worse crimes around this 40 block campus proper than drinking and mishaps. However the Eugene Police are always complaining they are to stretched prioritize campus any more than they already do.

The U of O police have been striving to be a real police force and hired three top officers from the EPD. Training is more extensive now I think. I don’t know if the officers I knew are still on the force. Guns have been on the agenda for years but are still years off.

I could write about that campus forever. But it would just get murkier and more confused than this. I’ll just say there is rarely not a law suite coming from there. Don’t know if that is unusual for a campus of 30,000.

1 Like

Wait, what? Their enemies include Bono, (the apparent entirety of) Boise State University, Spongebob Squarepants, the cast of Friends, mayonnaise and Mick Jagger’s arm fat? What did Mick Jagger’s arm fat ever do to them?

1 Like

This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.