Darkness.
Silence.
Cold.
Solitude.
Clankenstein dozes in complete sensory deprivation. He knows not where he is, when it is, how long he’s been here, how he got here, what he should do next… and he begins to wonder if he’s still sure who he is.
Something… hurts.
He reaches out before him, and grasps the comforting plastic of the van’s battered old steering wheel. It’s been long years since Clank actually needed to use the wheel for steering. His psychic connection to the old Dodge is complete and profound. But Clank is a Mechanic to the core of his old soul, and always utilizes the simplest and most appropriate tool for the job; even if he lost all his fingers he’d fabricate a Brody knob with his toes and steer that wheel with a hook.
He reaches out to the ignition switch and gives it a twist.
Nothing happens.
He gives his headlight switch a tug.
Nothing happens.
Clank takes a breath, and bows his head.
-“Our Foreman, which art Ignition, Craftsman be Thy name. Thy creeper come, Thy work be done, on Earth as it is ever’where else. Give us this day our quart o’ thirty-weight, and forgive us our crossthreadings, as we forgive those who stripped those threads before us. Lead us not into temptation to overbill, but deliver us from upselling, for Thine is the Spanner, and the Driver, and the Droplight forever and whatnot. Ayup!”
And a lamp descends from the heavens and bangs against Clank’s roof before clicking into blazing, glorious light.
And the voice of the Craftsman speaks:
"Clankenstein, my son. Thy time hath arrived. Thou shalt sorely tested be, and only through the Mechanical Principles shalt thou prevail. Fail me not, Mechanic, and never shall the Craftsman fail thee."
The light goes out.
Darkness.
Silence.
Cold.
But no more solitude.
Clank feels like he hasn’t eaten in days, but the onboard pizza oven is still warm. A couple of reheated slices, a moment of concentration, a whispered prayer, some grunts of effort over the SHITGO throne, and the Dodge rumbles to life. Clank breathes a quick word of thanks, then hits the headlight switch.
The second thing Clank notices is that he’s still in the tunnels beneath the Citadel.
But the first thing he notices is the presence idling silently before him. The reason why he hurts so much right now.
-“Afternoon, Reverend. I’m so very glad you’re here.”
