Bored white lady from California becomes first bored white lady Masai warrior

[William_Holz]

@timquinn

I want to say that I only reply to you because I respect you and what you are trying to do.

And you almost did

Also, ditto!

@timquinn

Social shaming in the form of humor is a complex behavior. Possibly even your response is part of the whole complex of us working it out. It isn’t necessarily for the actual “person in the picture” that we do it for, but the upwelling of disapproval couched in mockery indicates that some, at least, recognize this behavior as emblematic of other behavior that is becoming widespread and seems to have escaped reflection so far. Her acts become a sign for an attitude. Satire.

Do you like Jimmy Carr?

I bet you already know who he is, but he’s a British comedian who appears on QI quite frequently. He’s brilliant and says some of the most awful, horrible things. If you don’t believe me. . .

- YouTube

Notice anything different about him? Not ‘what he says’ but ‘what emotions he puts into his subject matter’.

He can make you cringe, but he’s not hateful, he’s not angry, and he’s got perspective.

It’s kind of the opposite of what we see here, right? But moving on (keep those thoughts tabled though!)

@timquinn

Social shaming in the form of humor is a complex behavior. Possibly even your response is part of the whole complex of us working it out. It isn’t necessarily for the actual “person in the picture” that we do it for, but the upwelling of disapproval couched in mockery indicates that some, at least, recognize this behavior as emblematic of other behavior that is becoming widespread and seems to have escaped reflection so far. Her acts become a sign for an attitude. Satire.

I agree actually. It’s not like I don’t ever fall into the same trap, I’ve just been looking at myself a lot more closely than I used to, and sometimes what I see is a bit less awesome than I had hoped.

I think there are three specific problems here.

1. We’re raised to think it’s socially acceptable to say mean-spirited things about a specific human we don’t know,
2. We’re raised to believe that the moment somebody ‘gets attention’ they never deserve to escape it, and
3. We’ve got our media outlets serving us bite-sized-bits of horrible from 7 BILLION people.

I think that interplay is important. 3) destroys our perspective, 2) destroys other people, and 1) destroys US.

Now, that isn’t to say that we don’t need to try to get in front of actual people who are in the PROCESS of doing awful things to other people. . . politicians who are pushing for war and zealots who are pushing hate and all of that. That’s something else entirely. There is room to be angry and frustrated there. That’s completely fair in proportion to the damage they do, right?

Somehow that all got merged with ‘obsessing over the tongue of Hanna Montana’ and ‘ridiculing SPECIFIC strangers at Wal-mart’

I think we didn’t just find a slippery slope culturally, we completely steamrolled it, didn’t we?

@timquinn

My underlying point is that human behavior on the individual and the group level is an evolved system that works in ways we don’t see or understand. I am not suggesting we just throw up our hands, though, not at all. But attempting to prescribe human behavior or censor, even self-censor, human behavior because of what you perceive as hurt feelings is just not going to work.

Nothing’s going to work if we don’t try, right?

But we do have science, and evidence, and things like that. They can help us.

In cases like this, I think we DO need to pay attention to the impact of our actions. What if she was a fan of Boingboing? What would discovering this thread DO to her? Imagine one of your friends who occasionally gets a bit . . . weird. (you have one! I know you do!) You’d be kind of upset yourself you saw him/her getting shamed like this, when you knew he/she never meant harm, right? And people have killed themselves over less.

That’s why I posted here. Maybe somebody here will get it, but I posted for the benefit of her and those who love her . . . just in case.

@timquinn

Culture holds many secrets still, one needs to approach with some humility and respect for what has come before.

Pfft! Like that ever works!

You know a bit about what I’m up to elsewhere, right? I’m ALL about using sugar and honey rather than salt and vinegar. I know for a fact we can create a better economic system PLAYING GAMES, and I’ll somehow find a way to make that happen.

But we DO need to draw some firm lines, and I think this is one of them. It’s a pretty easy to identify line, and it’s not like anybody loses if they try, right?

@timquinn

Can we try, this time, to respect the evolved nature of the problem and try to see what is there before laying waste to it with typical imperialist verve?

( Please excuse my exaggeration. It is so much fun. )

It is!

And I pick my battles, this is one that impossible not to win. I don’t need everyone to agree, just to slowly collect those who are willing to think things through, right?

You know I has layers!