Chinese opsec funnies: your foreign boyfriend is a western spy!

boing
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You see this style on all sorts of announcements and signs. Apparently a warning just isn’t a warning in Shenzhen unless it has the official cartoon security guard or construction worker with his hands up waving you away.

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Fuckin’ Davids, am I right, @pesco?

ETA: Whoops. Doctorow article. My point still stands.

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Haven’t these people heard of globalization? Your foreign boyfriend would have been a western spy, but the west outsourced those jobs.

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The trubs is, the “woo them like james bond” plan is a very labor intensive, skill based approach and is usually very ineffective.

Much easier and more timely to rummage through someones trash at 4AM, bug their computer with the modern equivalent to a bug and siphon data that way from 20-30 unwitting dupes, rather than spend 2-3 months fucking the intel out of sam the mailboy.

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Are you sure its not just a sign that Luchadoras are taking over?

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WHere do I sign up to become a lothario and woo chinese ladies for access to state secrets?

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but only one of those options attracts high caliber talent like Sterling Archer.

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If the luchadoras are taking over, why can’t I find good Mexican food in China?

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You mean you don’t just make eyes at them over roulette, then duck out and wait in the nearest bedroom?

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Because Lucha is more than just Mexicans in funny costumes grappling, its a state of mind.

What is ironic is the most prominent chain of Mexican takeout joints in New York City that isn’t named Taco Bell, Chipotle or Q’Doba are Chinese owned, Fresco Tortilla. The food is mediocre at best, but at least it hasn’t given anyone E. Colli yet.

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My National Security Organ is already tingling!

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They actually have these comics as posters up on the streets in Beijing. A (brit) friend of mine who lives there just posted a picture of himself standing next to one looking like one incredibly shifty laowai.

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The one with the big nose. Seriously, it’s a well established stereotype in Japan & China

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OFFICER: You show a very shallow understanding of secrecy for a State employee. You are suspected of violating our nation’s law.

I wonder if shallow really is an appropriate translation here. Perhaps I too am insufficiently paranoid.

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