Corrupt-a-Wish

Granted. The line for the TSA Scope-n-Grope starts over there, we’ll need $50 for your carry-on, we apologize in advance for the lack of legroom and for the fact that we still haven’t adopted the new and more liberal electronic devices policy, and you’d better maintain your polite human form even after we run out of peanuts and any drinks other than warm Fresca after we’ve been parked on the runway for three hours due to snowdrifts on the runways. We remind you that you do still, technically at least, possess the ability to fly, though currently your permission to fly has been unavoidably delayed. We know you have a choice in airlines, so thank you for parking with us.

I wish I could turn invisible at will. (Did we do this one already?)

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