Worst. DJ. Ever.
Anyone who has worked in corporate 'murica for any number of years knows that executives are always on the hunt for words other than âlayoffâ when thereâs a layoff, and Iâve heard them all. Downsizing, right-sizing, realigning, shifting of resources, resource alignment, and on it goesâŚand now Mayerâs âremixâ, which has probably caused countless CEOs to wet their pants with excitement over a new layoff word.
Marissa Mayer will get her check on time this week and the next and so forth.
ReMix Marissa Mayer and Yahoo might have a chance to survive, maybeâŚ
I guess âremixâ is a lot catchier than âIâm so terrible at my job that I was unable to find a way to lead this company into a profitable future that we could all share inâ
Has yahoo EVER sent out dividend checks? Thatâs the problem with modern American capitalism. Between IPO and bankruptcy, if they never send you any money youâve got nothing it you didnât sell your stock to some greater fool.
Just a couple of weeks ago I was told âyour position is impacted by the outsourcing currently taking placeâ, so I was âimpactedâ.
Recent internal notices about colleagues being fired are described as âleaving for external employment opportunitiesâ.
While thatâs certainly true, employee well-being was never her mission. Probably not even in the top ten of her target goals.
Isnât that part of the problem?
Iâm sorry about your recent impaction. That sucks.
I know âlayoffâ has negative connotations (doh), but I have to wonder what brain trust told corporations that âlayoffâ must be avoided at all cost â no matter how convoluted and absurd the replacement phrasing might be.
YupâŚand I donât see it changing in my lifetime.
Tell that to the shareholders.
My wifeâs company prefers the term âsynergyâ. Which makes even less sense than âremixâ.
Yahooers just needed to lean in. Not that difficult.
Itâs just the nature of euphemism. Each new sanitized word is gradually contaminated by the stink of the concept it was brought in to replace or obscure.
Yeah, itâs not even clear that corporate governance is in the shareholderâs interests anymore. Theoretically, maximizing the long-term value of a company would be the goal. But the fast majority of publicly held companies Iâve worked with canât make a long-term decision. Itâs just pump and dump. Pump and dump.
All true, except corporations are not immortal. They should be, by design, but their narrow focus on short term profits usually leads to their demise. Unfortunately, they disrupt countless lives on the way down.
But didja check out that sweeeeet new logo? Sheâs clearly earning her pay!
