No More Prizes in Cracker Jack :(

Right?

You consistently pay more and get less. You know about that, right? For years large corporations have been reducing the size of the package and simultaneously increasing the price — this happens with cereal, detergent, soup, you name it.

Yes, I know about inflation. That said, pretty much every foodstuff known to exist is much more affordable now on a per-ounce basis (adjusted for inflation) than it was in 1896 when Cracker Jack was invented, or whatever sepia-toned era you’re remembering when it came in a box and had real toys.

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Great. Now I’m going to have to renew my driver’s license at the DMV like everyone else.

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Remember when cereal boxes had toys inside?

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Yeah, this is also my experience. I had a box of Kinder toys in my youth and a great many of them were things like pull-back cars you had to assemble yourself, or interesting little mechanical gee-gaws. I remember a toy skier where the little figure had poseable arms and legs - I played with that for a long time, fascinated at the detail that had gone into this tiny ‘freebie’.

At least that’s how I remember it, and it’s probably best I don’t have it any more. But they definitely made a shift to seasonal figurine collections that were nowhere near as interesting. One of the reasons I don’t like this is that it makes me sound like a nostalgia-blinded old geezer obsessed with the good old days. I try hard to avoid falling into that trap, but, you know, they don’t make it easy.

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Whether you’re from America, England, China, or Madagascar, the food of your childhood brings nostalgia. And that most definitely includes caramel-coated popcorn & peanuts that’ve come with a prize inside since our grandparents’ childhoods.

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The Cracker Jack Prize Inside has been as much a part of the nostalgia and love for the brand…

They’re selling nostalgia, which is to say, fun yesterday. If you want fun today, you’re out of luck.

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I used to spit out the peanuts. God how I hated the peanuts. I remember whenever I got a box I’d expound with a 9 year old’s earnest zeal how the peanuts ruined everything.

In the 70s, more often than not the prize was a crappy plastic ring as I recall. Still beat a QR code though.

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It gets weird though when you start having anachronistic nostalgia, as I do for Marmite.

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My grandpa used to give me the prizes; my favorite was a tiny plastic compass that (sort of) worked. But even back in the late '70s, the prizes were often a paperboard thing. From the looks of some of the classic prizes from the “prize museum” referenced above, they’ve been putting cheap paper prizes in since the early days, as well as decoder rings.

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In 1982 a 9-year old girl sued because her box of Cracker Jack didn’t include a toy. She got an apology and a coupon for another box of Cracker Jack although from what I gather she didn’t get reimbursed $19 for her court costs.

I wonder where she is now and what she thinks of this news.

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My prize was . . . diabetes!

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I’m old enough to remember real (plastic or metal) prizes being in Cracker Jack boxes, but the only prize I specifically remember getting is a tiny joke book. And from that tiny joke book, I remember but one joke:

“What’s green and sings?”

“Elvis Parsley”

Thank you, thank you! You’ve been great!

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Jack Gilford is indelibly burned into my brain, I love those Cracker Jack commercials.

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Exactly. Their “prizes” were shit. I don’t think anyone has spent more than 10 seconds with one of them.

If I were them and still wanted to include a “prize”, Id make an App where you scan either a card in the box, or a code on the inside of the box. Code then gives you something for the online App. People love those collectors apps like Topps virtual cards, or make some virtual sim app and the cards get you things like clothes for your character, or stuff for your house, or what ever.

But as it was, it was a waste of time and money adding something that NO ONE enjoyed.

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No problem. I’ll explain (from the perspective of a kid born in the 1960s).

Parents buy Cracker Jacks because they like them. Kids go nuts because there’s a PRIZE IN THE BOX, HOW COOL IS THAT? Kids think the molasses taste is awful and kind of burnt. Some kids (like me) think the peanuts are a hazard to be eaten around. Kids eat only enough of the piss-poor contents to get to the prize, which sucks. Kids whine because the other kid got a better prize. Sulking and/or tears ensue. The box and remaining contents are thrown away.

The next time Cracker Jacks are purchased, kids go nuts because there’s A PRIZE IN THE BOX, HOW COOL IS THAT?

Rinse and repeat.

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Oh yeah! I remember one occasion in the 1970s when we brought home a box of Count Chocula and there must have been a mishap on the assembly line because it had six or seven toy surprises inside! It was like hitting the jackpot. My brother and I told our neighborhood friends about it and they all added Count Chocula to their moms grocery lists that week. Sure enough, they ended up with multiple prizes too.

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Yeah, and I suppose you also decided which breakfast cereal you wanted based on the picture of the toy on the box?

Admit it, you know you did.

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Based on my daily commute, I am pretty sure they still randomly issue drivers licenses.

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I believe they are still illegal in the USA.

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