Stop telling people you’ve slept with me.
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Well, active dislike, sure, but I’ve met women that I was kind of “meh” on that were attractive and in a social setting and it wasn’t really clear that the personality match wasn’t there until later.
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What @albill said.
Active dislike, no, couldn’t do it. But no interest in anything else, and the person isn’t terrible… why not?
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It is just sex, sheeple!
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I don’t over react so much as to freak out, but I refuse to act upon it. If I can compartmentalize/ignore that impulse I might interact with them normally. But if the attraction is too strong for disciplined thinking, then I need to avoid them. I hate it when that happens, so I try to avoid feeling attracted to people. Same applies if somebody else is attracted to me, or even if it is mutual.
Apparently! But I never get any explanation as to why it’s a good idea. In fact, I have encountered hostility for suggesting otherwise.
Hardly sounds like an endorsement, does it? But I feel that it is not important whether or not I like people, that this is a fickle thing. I should try to be good to people whether I like them or not. I think that some relationships are really more or less functional than others, but I can’t reconcile this with how most people seem to have arbitrary hierarchies of “intimacy” for others. I think of sex as more of a matter of personal maintenance and a social activity, not unlike eating. Of course there might be foods I would prefer and avoid, and people I might want to dine with more or less - but this hardly seems like a good reason to encourage lots of obscure games about it. By analogy, eating food which happened to be there with a stranger because we happened to both be hungry would be perfectly sensible. But needing to eat a meal with one specific person in privacy because their eyes and mouth looked a certain way sounds weirdly impulsive.
Turn it on its head: why is it a bad idea in your opinion (which you clearly think since you avoid it)?
If the goal is a relationship, sure. If the goal is hot sex, chemistry matters…
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Don’t know. I never dated that much so any thoughts about how i’d feel, or what I would / wouldn’t do aren’t exactly grounded experience. In 100% of the (few) relationships I’ve been in, we knew each other reasonably well before sex. I honestly have no idea how I’d be in a relatively casual physical relationship
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I mean, I wasn’t taking home complete strangers (not that there’s anything wrong with that) more like friends of friends… I think the kids these days call it “hooking up”. 
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I can definitely imagine eating with someone based on factors that are quite different from those I’d look for in a housemate. Sex can mean a lot of things, so it doesn’t bother me that other people’s criteria are very different. Having a close personal connection is an important part of the hotness for me, but that’s going to vary with individuals. Physical attraction probably isn’t a great predictor of long term compatibility, but that’s often not the goal in the first place.
I got married in a church. I wish the kids called it “one-on-one deathmatch”. Only one of us leaves this thing alive…
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#Highlander: The Final Hookup
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There can be only cum?
And I will just be going now.
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Sounds like a compliment to me.
I get it and at the same time if people don’t admit to what they like, then the perception that the thing they like is weird and odd becomes self fulfilling. Which is what I mean by a preoccupation with perception, not reality.
Some people think men who bake are weird. They are wrong. The thing that is real is that they really do have a flawed perception of bakers.
That their flawed perception can influence reality is a thing that happens when we look to other people to determine what we really believe about what is real. But that’s just politics.
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I’m scared to google this. What’s the over-under on it being real?
(N.B. Use of “over-under” here is a joke, it is definitely not a thing you could apply over-under betting to. That’s funny.)
The tagline for Highlander is “There can be only one!”
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I get it and at the same time if people don’t admit to what they like, then the perception that the thing they like is weird and odd becomes self fulfilling. Which is what I mean by a preoccupation with perception, not reality.
Some people think men who bake are weird. They are wrong. The thing that is real is that they really do have a flawed perception of bakers.
That their flawed perception can influence reality is a thing that happens when we look to other people to determine what we really believe about what is real. But that’s just politics.
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I have no issue admitting what I like: people at work know that I’m into theatre, baking etc. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them questioned my sexual orientation, and frankly, I don’t care.
Culturally, though, a lot of people still see being something other than straight and cisgender as being somehow wrong, so, if certain interests and activities are associated with not being straight and cisgender, people might stop partaking in those interests, because they either think of those interests as “less manly” themselves, or because they’re worried about being perceived as “less manly” by other people.
In my case, I’d rather do what makes me happy, and let people think what they wish about me, but, then, I live in a pretty nice place. In some places, that attitude can get you hurt, or even killed.
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It’s what makes us stay in toxic relationships as well. Nobody wins those, but if its your thing, just be sure its your partners thing too.
I get my adrenaline high outside of my relationships, and my spiritual high within them.
Sounds like a good attitude. You’ll be fine.
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You have a good head and a good voice. Don’t let Some Places Might Judge Me keep you down. Reject the notion there are gender based activities–and I mean don’t deny there are people that believe it, but reject it.
And if you end up in a place where that idea is dangerous, change your environment or get the hell outa dodge. There are so many wonderful places on earth it would be a travesty if you were stuck in one that didn’t appreciate you.
Internet Fishbump
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