Tabletop simulator

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But this is actually a reasonable tool (and there are already several such tools but not with the physics engine, as far as I know). I would think a “Tabletop simulator” that would be analogous to the Goat Simulator would be more insane and be about using tables to attack Martian spies or something

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We need to model goat behaviour, in an attempt to control it. I say this as someone with experience of goats. That simulator isn’t that OTT…

If it comes with a ruler and some templates (and maybe some aquarium terrain bits) this could be a pretty reasonable way to play miniature wargames online. The interface couldn’t be any worse than VASSAL.

Just have a mode where the controls are more like Surgeon Simulator 2013.

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