10-year-old asks for a DNA test on a cookie allegedly bitten by Santa to prove if he's real or not

Originally published at: 10-year-old asks for a DNA test on a cookie allegedly bitten by Santa to prove if he's real or not | Boing Boing


That her mom or dad is a descendant of Santa.


So why would the authorities have Santa’s DNA on file?


Millions of B&Es, every year


Also, 23andMe, obviously…


I’m always heartwarmed by the stories of children critically analyzing santa. Vastly more magical than enthusiasts allege uncritical belief in him to be.


I hope dad isn’t a wanted felon. That DNA sample may give the family an unwanted post Christmas.


And remember: cops lie. That’s an important lesson for a 10-year old.


So the cops should tell her Santa is real or Santa is not real?

Within the brief clip we see a cop identify a deer as a reindeer and state that a person fitting the description was seen in the area (and we’re shown a blurry image that could have been a person vaguely dressed as Santa Claus, but also could have been an escaped warthog.) While it’s technically true that a person fitting one of the supposed descriptions may have been seen in the area by someone, the odds that such a person was reported to the police are nil. The lesson there is that cops will happily lie about the facts to support their narrative.

The cops should not be wasting time and resources on this. “Sorry, young person, but investigations of Santa Claus are outside of our jurisdiction.” That wouldn’t even be a lie.

My own feelings about lying to kids over mythological figures aren’t even coming into the picture for me. I think it actually teaches a different important lesson re: other myths used for control when kids find out the truth about Santa Claus.


I’ve always been a bit surprised at people’s willingness to lie to children about trivial articles of faith for exactly that reason.

Among a great many childhood-magic-of-santa enthusiasts Jolly old st. Nick is not the logistically implausible supernatural entity they are most invested in; which makes teaching their children that they will lie to their faces about logistically implausible supernatural entities seem like a really bad strategic move. Seems like a high risk that the kids might generalize the lesson; in a way analogous to generalizing the lesson of finding Mr. Nibbles the hamster stiff and immobile one day into an explanation for why we don’t visit Grandma anymore.

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UPDATE: Results released in girl's request for DNA evidence of Santa | AP News

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