Santa and elf raid drug dealer's house

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You know what? Now I want a Michael Bay style buddy cop movie w/ Santa and a sidekick elf, busting folks on the naughty list during the lead-up to Christmas.


They’re really getting around this year. Isn’t this sort of thing supposed to be Krampus’ bailiwick, though?


Now the buddy cop movie plot thickens.

Santa is considering retirement when his new rookie partner, Sugarplum Evergreen, is gunned down by lieutenants of Santa’s longtime nemesis Burgermeister Meisterburger. Vowing justice, Santa reluctantly joins forces with Krampus to bring down the Naughty Listers once and for all.


Add a cameo by Decapitron from Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III and I’m in.

Also, Mellick should probably write the official historical record for 2020.

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Krampus: “I’m retired, Claus. You’re the main man for both naughty and nice these days. I’m yesterday’s man, so why come to me and [takes a drag off his cigarillo] why should I care?”

Santa: “Because, Krampus, Sugarplum Evergreen was … your son!”


coming soon, exclusively on HBOmax


I’m suspicious of that “near a school” phrasing, based on how I’ve seen it used in America. Depending on the radius, near a school is pretty much everywhere, and they will enhance the charges for, like, people selling weed out of their house three blocks away as if they were standing by the bike racks in a trench coat.

maybe next time they can add a police dog dressed as a reindeer.


HellHound is unmasked as an undercover reindeer by his glowing eyes. Next time, wear shades!

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