Fauci claims without evidence that Santa Claus possesses "innate immunity" to coronavirus

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/11/23/fauci-claims-without-evidence-that-santa-claus-possesses-innate-immunity-to-coronavirus.html

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Santa gets special protection.

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He came this close to admitting it: Santa is an alien.

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Being totally dead in this tomb in Bari(*), Italy it’s difficult that could catch any disease.

(*) Not all bone are present. Some bones are in Venice.

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Also, the elves aren’t human and so probably immune too, and other than Christmas they’re all isolated year-round. So Santa can’t even bring it back to them as a carrier. I’m a little worried about Mrs. Claus though. She’s not a saint and has no supernatural powers, and I can’t imagine the prognosis is good for a women closing in on two thousand years old. Luckily fomites don’t seem to be a major vector for transmission. Santa will just have to quarantine until the Epiphany, unless we leave him a few at-home tests to go along with the milk and cookies.

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“Mrs. Claus” is a figment of the imagination of the representation of Santa Claus.

Nobody’s ever seen Santa Claus, all we get a drawings in books and Coca-Cola ads.

So how do we know she’s not a woman?

I do agree, up there at the North Pole the commune is probably well.isolated, and no visitors.

And probably the magic dust that helps them accomplish all this ads a level of immunity.

23 days in, it’s interesting how rarely Santa Claus ever appears in a Hallmark Christmas movie.

Not true.
Nobody’s ever seen Santa Clause and lived to tell the tale.

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Santa was safe until too many people started believing the virus was imaginary. That’s when the virus was able to cross over into his reality. Santa is no longer safe! Thanks Trumpers.

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Could antibodies from Santa’s blood provide immunity?

Asking for a naughty friend.

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hollis-elf-sneaky

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Rare Exports”?
Fantastic Christmas movie, and no Dicky Attenborough.

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What about the elves who have been given an ‘essential worker’ pat on the back and forced back into the arctic labor camps?

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No. His immunity isn’t from antibodies, it’s from an (assumed) absence of ACE2 receptors.

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I know a lot of folks are goofing on this, but I think this is actually a good and sweet thing for Fauci to do. It’s a reassurance to kids that Santa isn’t going to be spreading the disease, or contracting it and ruining Christmas. Some sense of normalcy in unconventional (unprecedented, even) times.

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You better hope that Santa Claus is immune. His elves have no health insurance as they are independent contractors.

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That and Hogswatch, along with the Peanuts, of course, are our go to X-mas films now.

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Totally. It’s not a message for cynical adults.

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